**some names have been changed for protection purposes
I was raised in a Christian household. My parents took us to church where I was involved in children's choir for a while. After my parents divorced, both of my parents stopped going to church, so that meant my sister and I also stopped.
When I was around twelve years old, my mom started going back to church at Gateway Fellowship, a southern baptist church in Gilbert. After I saw her life get back together through this church, I started going, and then eventually my grandparents and my sister.
I was heavily involved in Gateway. I did choir, AWANAs, Bible Quiz Team, led worship in the youth ministry, performed in weekend services and yearly musicals, helped in the nursery, led Bible study, went to church camp, went on mission trips. I did it all. It was through Gateway that I went to Centrifuge, a Christian summer camp, for six years in a row.
I went to Gateway until I was sixteen. Why did I leave?
My mother had met a man at Gateway named Ben who was growing through a rough divorce. His wife was literally psycho. Since my mother had gone through divorce, Ben had asked for help as far as prayer, filing divorce papers, finding a place to live, etc. They spent time together, and after their divorce was finalized, they began a relationship.
Note: my mother did not end their marriage. Their marriage was already ended before they engaged in a relationship. My mother did not plan on falling for Ben in the process, but it happened.
Ben's family was very involved in the church, both physically (like I was) and financially. They spread rumors about my mother being a "homewrecker". Kids in youth group would corner me and tease me, asking why my mother would destroy a marriage. As if I had any clue.
It got to the point where my family no longer felt safe at church. So, we left and fund a new church.
We started going to Sun Valley Community Church in Gilbert. I actually like this church pretty well. I went to youth group every week and participated in the worship band. I started dating a guy in the youth group as well who was a couple years older than me. I was sixteen, he was eighteen, and we were madly in love...at least we thought we were, (you knowhow dramatic high school kids are). A few months into our relationship, I found out he cheated on me with my best friend. Most of the youth group knew. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of our relationship that I left.
I stopped going to church for about a year. At this point I was not a fan. Then, I met Austin.
Before Austin and I started dating, he invited me to his church to watch him play guitar in the church band. I woke up one Sunday morning and made my way to his church: Mission Community Church in Gilbert. This church was the mother church of all churches...at least in the East Valley. Most of the kids in my high school went to Mission.
When Austin and I started dating, I went to Mission regularly. I, once again, joined the worship band and performed in the junior high and high school services. When I entered college, I started going to the college group Ember. I became involved in their band, and eventually became a small group leader. I was all about this Mission church.
Then something happened that changed my whole idea of church to the point where I decided not to do church anymore. And it's all thanks to Mission for opening my eyes to this problem.
A friend of mine, Renee, came home from Canada after being gone for a while. Her husband would come down later that year after his visa expired. Since she didn't know hardly anyone anymore, Austin and I brought her to Ember. She made friends and felt so welcome.
One of the friends she made was Steven, who welcomed her into the church. They hung out a lot. Until it became obvious that they liked each other.
Renee felt guilty, because she still loved her husband. She didn't want a divorce, she just wanted these feelings for Steven to go away without ruining their friendship. She brought it up to Steven and he agreed that they should probably leave their friendship alone for a little bit until things died down.
However, Steven went to the lead pastor asking for guidance, and claimed that "Renee is coming onto me and I don't know what to do because she's married and being unloyal to her husband and blah blah blah."
Do you think the pastor asked Renee about the issue? No, he did not.
Instead, he asked her to leave the church, because adulteresses don't belong in their church.
He didn't offer to pray with her. e didn't offer marriage counseling. He didn't offer the helping hand of The Lord. Instead, he kicked her out.
This act of pushing a sinner away caused me to leave. I looked back at my church experience, and realized that people had always brought sin up to the sinner's face and held it over their head instead of offering forgiveness or a helping hand.
We're all sinners. There's no perfect person. So, what makes you more perfect than my mother, my cheating boyfriend, my friend, or me?
I believe in The Lord Jesus Christ. I have a personal relationship with him. He is my Father, I am His daughter, and I live my life for Him. I meet with a friend to do Bible study every so often. I read my Bible every day, and pray whenever I'm happy, sad, need guidance, or raising blessings up to him.
I don't need church to have a relationship with Jesus. In fact, I'm not sure if I will ever return to church. And that is totally okay with me.
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Why, all of a sudden, do I give you my background on church and rant about the fall and hypocracy of church?
Because the lead pastor who accused my friend of cheating on her husband and personally asked her to leave his church has now been accused of cheating on his wife with church members. And he admitted to it.
And people are praying for him. And offering him guidance. And reaching out the hand of Christ.
Because he's a pastor. And, apparently, that makes him more worthy of forgiveness than my friend.
While I am furious at his actions and his sin and his behavior towards my friend; while I sit back and think about how bad karma is; while I so badly want to say "ha ha you sinned!"
I am still going to pray for him and his family.
Beause that's what you do when a member of the church falls. You help them back up. You pray for the sinners. You offer the hand of The Lord and treat them with kindness, just as Jesus would.
"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of The Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; The Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they wlill be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:13-16
