Moving #24WARD: Spring Cleaning

//When the time comes, move with the season// - Temples' "Move With the Season"

This past weekend, my boyfriend went out of town with some friends and I was really struggling with what to do. Most weekends we spend together: laying in bed until we are forced to get up, eventually getting brunch, sometimes attending a show or doing work together. All in all, my weekends were time I spent with him.

Since he was going to be gone this weekend, I decided to treat myself. I decided to do the things I had been putting off, like cleaning my room and getting rid of items I don't need. I also decided to pamper myself with a new hairdo and some new clothes to help put a spring in my step.

Friday after work, I went shopping at the Savers in North Scottsdale. I had heard they had the best collection (wealthy, fashionable people tend to live in that area), and I really need to adjust my wardrobe to a more fashionable, summery look. As much as I love my sweaters, it was time to retire them for button-up blouses and tank tops. I ended up buying about twenty-something items all for $100! I really struck gold.

Saturday morning, I got outta bed with no hesitation and headed to a local diner to grab some breakfast and dive into my Bible. I have been really struggling spiritually lately, so I wanted to spend an hour of my morning reading about what it means to have a pure heart and a steadfast spirit: it means to let go of the bullshit that's corroding you inside and allowing God to take over and radiate compassion and mercy.

Saturday afternoon, I met up with Julz at her salon in Tempe called Mood Swings. Julz always knows how to take care of my hair, and after five months of not seeing her, it was time for some upkeep. She trimmed my bangs, colored my hair the bright red that I love, and added some extra goodness in my hair while washing it to keep it healthy and keep the color lasting longer. Next time, I won't wait so long to see her, because, with hair like this, how can I stay away?!

Over the course of Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I cleaned my room and organized my dresser. With the weather rapidly changing to warmer degrees, it was time to move my sweaters, legging, and jackets to the back and bring my tank tops, blouses, and shorts to the front. I also went through and tried on every piece of clothing to see what fits and made a pile of clothes to finally get rid of. After all my clothes were organized, I dumped all of my old clothes into a bag and headed out to get rid of them. I stopped by Buffalo Exchange, where they took three items, and in exchange, I got a bag that is the perfect size between my purse and backpack: for when I need to tote my iPad, notebook, flyers, etc., but don't wanna lug around my laptop.

One of my dear friends that I got to know well over the past six months received a DREAM JOB in Philadelphia, so before she moves next week (sad!) she hosted a moving sale at her apartment. I stopped by to check out what she was selling, which included this gorgeous couch, some dishes, other pieces of furniture, and some clothes. I ended up buying a sequined, flower shirt (which I will be wearing to her going away party - stay tuned!) and a trunk to fit all of my vinyl in! I'm so sad she will be leaving soon, especially since she's a new friend to me, but I am so excited for all the amazing opportunities ahead of her. YOU GO GIRL.

With my new hair, new clothes, and a spring in my step with the new season, I'm working on being a better version of me. This weekend was the breath of fresh air that I needed to allow myself to blossom into the butterfly that had been hidden in the winter cocoon.

"When the time comes, move with the season."

My First Psychiatrist Appointment

I've been seeing my therapist for about six months now, and I look forward to each visit. Since day one, she has listened to my issues and given me really sound advice and helpful tips to help with my sleep habits, anxiety, stress, and how to discuss my problems with others. She tells me to contact her if anything happens, and checks up on recent issues I have been facing. Most importantly, she cares. She genuinely cares about me, and treats me more than a patient, but actually as a friend.

After being diagnosed depressed in December and starting medication, the next step was to visit a psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis and further research my medication and see if there's a possibility that something else might be "wrong" with me.
However, when I made the appointment in December, the wait was so long that I didn't get to see a psychiatrist until today, March 23rd.

I have been really anxious to see a psychiatrist, mostly because of the medical side of things. I've been nervous to sit down with a medical professional and pick at my brain to see what else is in there that I don't know about. But, at the same time, I was ready for treatment.

When I got to her office, she had forgotten about my appointment, so i caught her off-guard. Then, she looked at my paperwork, and would call me "Kim" by accident because my last name is "Kimes". Aside from the mistakes, I didn't receive a welcoming or gentle nature from her like I did with my therapist.
This was the first five minutes of being in her office, and I already felt uncomfortable, so I shut down.

The hour went by with a series of questions that I know are required of her to ask, and a series of hesitation in my mind that anything was going to be fixed. Ultimately, I felt like another typical depressed patient that she wanted to fix, and not as a human being. She seemed to make assumptions about my life without ever having met me.

For example:
"Do you often feel like being away from people?"
"Yeah...I mean, lately I have found it hard to go..."
"...to work?"
"No...to social events."

"Are you sexually active?"
"Yes." (TMI, sorry.)
"Have you had long-term relationships in your past?"
Thinking back to a relationship I had a few years ago that lasted four years.
"Yeah."
"Are you depressed because of a recent breakup? was the breakup hard for you?"
"No...[unnamed] stole my identity and that is why I'm depressed."
"Oh...dear. You poor thing."

"Do you drink alcohol?"
"Only on weekends."
"How much do you drink?"
"Over the span of the whole weekend?"
"Yes."
"Hm...I'd say probably somewhere around four drinks for the whole weekend."
"Oh my. That's too much. I think you should look into the 12 Steps from Alcoholics Anonymous."

At the end of the appointment, she diagnosed me with "Adjustment Disorder". She told me she'd like me to take some tests and return in three weeks. I'm going to take the tests, return in three weeks, and hope for better results. If nothing better happens, I may consider seeing someone else who might not categorize me as if they know me.

I just hope I can get better soon.

All You Need is Love

As Valentine's Day approaches, I am reminded of the fact that this will be the first time in nine years that I will be single on Valentine's Day. This will be the first year since 2006 that I will not make romantic plans with my sweetie or be pampered with sweet gifts or snuggling.

Am I bummed? Not at all.
Because I have realized that I am surrounded by love.

This morning when I was in the drive-thru for Starbucks, I approached the window to pay only to find out that the woman in the car ahead of me paid for my coffee.  Not only was it a sweet gesture, but it gave me a sigh of relief since my funds are not ideal right now.
Then, I walk into work to find a pot of flowers on my desk from a coworker. Not only was I surprised to find the flowers, but he happened to pick my favorite flower, daisies, to which he had no clue.

And not just today, but everyday I am reminded of the simple pleasures of feeling love.

I feel love when, after not seeing my dad for a few days, he greets me with a smile and says "Hey Peanut!" with such excitement and when he sends me random "I hope you have a good day!" messages.
I feel love when my baby sister greets me with an enthusiastic "HI!" and grabs my hand to play with her and when she leans across her high chair at the dinner table to have a staring contest with me.
I feel love when Jaelene promotes my music skills to friends and family likes I pay her to be my publicist and when she texts me to check on me on a bad day.
I feel love when Freddie gives me hugs and tells me "Keep your chin up" and goes to concerts with me and purchases my Eaux Claires festival ticket because he couldn't bare "the thought of not being there without [me]."
I feel love when Kinsey, who is approximately 1500 miles away from me, sends me exciting music news and we can share the excitement together through our phones.
I feel love when my friends send me songs that they suggest I would love to listen to (and most of the time they are right!) and send me "Hey are you doing okay?" messages.
I feel love when my coworkers recognize my hard work. My job can be stressful and I am still learning, so when they tell me how well I am doing, it lifts my spirits.
I feel love when, even though she may be far away, my mother reminds me that she loves and misses me.

Whether you realize it or not, love is everywhere. Sometimes it takes someone paying for your coffee or someone getting you your favorite flower unintentionally to realize that.

The Power of Medicine

It's been a while since I have updated about the happenings of my life, but it's because I'm been busy with so much support and love in my life, that it has overflowed.

I have recently been diagnosed with depression, and with that has come the introduction of anti-depressants into my daily life. It has taken some adjustment, and a few weeks of letting it settle into my system before it finally took an effect. The first few weeks were rough: I couldn't get a full night's sleep, I couldn't fully finish a meal, and my thoughts went to dark places under the influence of alcohol.

Now, I have noticed some positive changes in my life, thanks to a combination of things, like anti-depressants, supportive people in my life, and music:

1. MY DERMATILLOMANIA HAS DECREASED
Dermatillomania is a form of skin-picking that I have suffered with for many years. I compulsively pick the skin on my face, on my fingers, on my lips, and compulsively bite my fingernails until they bleed. With the help of my medicine, facial cream,polishing my nails, chapstick, and wearing makeup everyday, I have been able to preserve my face back to its original smooth, scab-free state and have allowed my nails to grow.

2. I AM REACHING FULFILLMENT
I have finally reached the point of sleeping the entire night, and feeling rested when I wake up the next morning. When I wake up, I am not greeted with the feeling of staying in bed for a few more hours or the dread of the day ahead of me. Instead, without double thinking, I roll out of bed, grab some coffee, and move forward with my day.

3. MY FRIEND GAME IS STRONG
At least, that's how Jaelene describes it. What she means is that I have been surrounded by loving friends a lot lately. Almost every night I am meeting up with friends for dinner, a show, a meeting, or some drinks. Sometimes hanging out with friends includes work, like filming an Underground Alt session with the best crew or managing a band that want the best for you and them. Other times, I am playing Cards Against Humanity with my Capslock brothers or enjoying a show at Crescent.

4. I AM MAKING MORE PLAYLISTS
Most of my friends are music lovers (obvi) and so a lot of music sharing happens. Lately, I have been making more playlists on Spotify to share with my friends, and they have returned the favor. If you would like me to make you a playlist, let me know! Or check out my playlists on Spotify.



Life is good right now. It's not perfect, but it's the best out of what I've been dealt. I am continuing to push #24WARD and make the best out of any opportunity, one song at a time.

Strawberry Sundays: Music Community and Baby Playtime

Every Sunday, I recap the prior week and recognize the beautiful things in my life, or the "strawberries" as I like to call them, because strawberries are my favorite fruit.

Mon, Jan. 19 - Since I had to leave for Phoenix that night, Kinsey and I wanted to go exploring and see some sights before coming home. So we hopped into her car, got some coffee and headed to Queen Anne to see Kinsey's new apartment. The new place she will living soon is just around the corner from the most BEAUTIFUL view of Seattle - you can see the Space Needle, the coast, the buildings. It's absolutely breathtaking. After that, we walked over to the Seattle Center and saw the sites around the Space Needle. The weather was sunny and beautiful and we had so much fun just wandering around.
Kinsey wanted to show me a really cool spot, so we drove around. She couldn't find the spot she was looking for, but we found a different neighborhood that was stunningly beautiful by mistake! We found a beautiful view of Lake Washington and drove around enjoying the beautiful weather.
After exploring, we got lunch at a Cajun restaurant that a very cute stranger recommended we try. The food was so delicious! We were so stuffed with scrumptious food and didn't want to leave, especially for the airport.
Strawberries: Exploring Seattle with Kinsey, getting lost, and enjoying a delicious meal with a friend.

Tues, Jan. 20 - I returned to work after being gone on vacation for 3 days. As soon as I got to work, I plugged in my headphones and began studying new music I had discovered over the weekend. I discovered some artists on Sub Pop that I was unfamiliar with, as well as listening to KEXP for new artists to discover.
After work, Freddie and I went to my house for our weekly Underground Alt meeting. After being on vacation and not getting any work done, it was time for us to catch up on emails and writing proposals to send off.
After getting work done, Freddie stayed for dinner with my family. We all did our gratefuls like normal and ate pizza and squash spaghetti. Whenever Freddie comes over, it's like he's part of the family: my parents get along well with him, my step brothers adore him, and Madeline warms up to him more and more each time.
Strawberries: Discover new favorite tunes, being productive, and having your best friend feel like family.

Wed, Jan. 21 - Nothing happened, really.

Thurs, Jan. 22 - I woke up feeling depressed, so I forced myself to get outta bed and head to work. I didn't wanna deal with the day ahead of me, and I had some things bothering me. But I had to remind myself that I actually had reasons to get outta bed. I had a job to go to and tasks to accomplish. Some depressed people don't even have that, so I was blessed to have a reason to leave the house.
After a busy day at work, I headed over to Pub Rock to begin filming a band called Saint Motel for an Underground Alt session. While the session was somewhat stressful, by the time we got rolling it was so much fun. We had a talented crew of four camera operators and two sound operators and a steady flow of performance takes.
By the time the shoot was over, I was so tired that I went straight home and went to bed. I fell asleep pretty quickly and had a full night's sleep, which is rare lately.
Strawberries: Having a reason to get outta bed, working with talented musicians and crew, and getting a full night's rest.

Fri, Jan. 23 - While getting ready for work, Jaelene asked me if I could watch Madeline while she ran Jackson to school, so I headed downstairs to finish my makeup and as Madeline looked up to notice I was the only one there, she waved excitedly with a big "HIIIII" following. I love how excited she gets to see people and her cute little "HIIIII".
When I got to work, the internet wasn't working, and didn't kick back in until 3:30. That entire time, the only thing I could get done was year-end paperwork, since it didn't require the internet. I had been working on that project all week, but haven't been able to finish because of all my other tasks. Fortunately, I was able to get so much done and finish the project today.
When I got home, I cooked a pizza for dinner and began eating. My parents put on Little Mermaid for Madeline to watch, and when she noticed I was eating pizza, she came over and asked me to feed her. I put her in the high chair and cut up some pieces of pizza for her to munch on...and she fell in LOVE with pizza! It was funny how much she was eating.
Strawberries: Alone time with Madeline, finishing a drawn-out project, and introducing Madeline to pizza.

Sat, Jan. 24 - Since my car failed emissions, I decided to spend the morning fixing all the issues my car had. I got my tire fixed, replaced the gas cap, and added some oil. All for under thirty dollars, too!
After fixing my car, I grabbed lunch at Culinary Dropout in Tempe and listened to my friends in Vinyl Station play some tunes. A little girl was dancing during their set and her mom and I talked while the girl danced.
When I got home from running errands, I played with Madeline and she was in such a good mood! We ran around the house and played with her toys and watched Yo Gabba Gabba! she does this new thing now where if she wants you to walk with her or play with her, she will grab your hand and pull you, which then pulls at my heart strings. She's so much fun to have around.
Strawberries: Taking care of my car, watching children get into my friends' music, and having a sister who wants to play with you.

Sun, Jan. 25 - I slept in until one in the afternoon, and then got up and met Freddie for an interview that we had with the ASU State Press. It was our first interview as Underground Alt, and one where someone inquired to us. It was interesting being on the other side of the paper.
Later in the evening, I met with my friend Jason and we had nachos and played trivia. Jason is one of my friends from CAPSLOCK MONDAY, and has joined me to shows and many Capslock meetups. It's always a pleasure hanging out with Jason...and we even ended up winning trivia!
After trivia, some more friends from CAPSLOCK joined us, like Derek and Spike and Freddie. We went into the Ballroom to enjoy the musical muses of Future Loves Past, a local band who is close friends with the Capslock crew. Derek and I managed to step away and talk about the music scene and what I've been up to lately. He gave me a really positive talk about how he admires my passion and drive and loves watching my journey through this weird thing I play a part in. It was refreshing to know someone cares.
Strawberries: Getting press for my project, winning trivia with friends, and getting meaningful compliments from a friend.

Strawberry Sundays: Playtime and Seattle

Every Sunday, I recap the prior week and recognize the beautiful things in my life, or the "strawberries" as I like to call them, because strawberries are my favorite fruit.

Mon, Jan. 12 - I left work early to go see my therapist. I hadn't seen her in over a month, so we had a lot of catching up to do. We worked on tapping into a more happy and relaxed state of mind when my depression kicks in, and talked about my new medication. I love meeting with my therapist, and I can't wait to see her again in a few weeks.
After therapy, I had to pick up Freddie from the car dealership because he turned his car in to get repaired. I drove him to his parents' house to pick up the spare car he'll be using while his is in the shop, and we went to grab some dinner.
After dinner, I headed home and watched a film with my dad, Jaelene, and Colten. We watched "The Interview" and all of us laughed so much, sometimes I thought one of us was crying! I'm glad we could get together to have some family time.
Strawberries: Seeking therapy to get better, helping a friend when he needs assistance, and spending time with the family during our busy schedules.

Tues, Jan. 13 - After work I headed to Normal Diner to get some work done. When I got there, business started to pick up. After I sat down and set up my laptop, I researched events around the diner: Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was playing across the street. The whole restaurant filled up immediately with old folks dressed for church, needing dinner before the show. Unfortunately, the diner previously hadn't seen much business, so only two servers were staffed with one cook, a hostess, and a manager. I've been in this situation before: understaffed and overwhelmed, trying to please everyone, trying to remember drink refills and modifications and splitting checks. I sat and watched as customers grew upset, some even furiously waking out. I felt so bads for the servers as I saw them running around, completely unprepared for the storm. And just as quickly as they rushed in, they all seemed to leave around the same time. When my check came, my server apologized for not being around. I explained that he had no need to apologize, that I've been a server and have been in that exact same situation and knew how stressful those times were. Being in the financial state I'm in now, I was able to leave a generous tip of $20 for him. Why? Because I figured his other tables didn't tip him what he deserved.
Strawberries: After having gone through the storm, I am able to sympathize with those that are currently going through it and be able to make someone's day.

Wed, Jan. 14 - I hadn't started packing for my Seattle trip yet, mostly because I don't have any luggage big enough for the weekend. So I headed to Freddie's house after work so I could pick up a large bag to use for my trip that he so generously is letting me borrow.
After I left Freddie's, I sat in traffic for about an hour as I headed home. While sitting in traffic, I listened to KEXP, a radio station based in Seattle. Most of the songs they played I had never heard before and really liked, so I started a playlist of those jams. It definitely made sitting in traffic a lot easier.
I had to stop by my uncle's house to pick up some dishes and glassware that my grandma used to own. They are really pretty, and my uncle is working on cleaning out his garage, so he gave me the whole tote of dishes. We caught up briefly before I headed home with new kitchenware
Strawberries: Friends who let me borrow items I am missing, traffic jams and jams to dance to in traffic, and owning family items I can use in my next place (hopefully of my own).

Thurs, Jan. 15 - I've been listening to KEXP a lot lately, so on my way home I listened to the station while being stuck in traffic again. This time, I texted in to request a song, and the DJ played it! I know it's such a not-a-big-deal kind of thing, but since I don't live in Seattle and this station plays all the new and obscure music, I didn't know if they'd think my song choice was too mainstream.
I got home and went straight to work on preparing for my Seattle trip. As I began packing and listening to rainy day jams, it started to sync in that I was going to be leaving soon to my favorite city.
After packing and eating dinner, Madeline started to wake up from her nap...at 9:30! My dad got her out of bed and we both played with her. She was in such a good mood. Lately, we've been teaching her how to approach the dogs in our house. She aggressively pats them, and we always say "No, be nice to doggie." So, last night I grabbed her hand and pet the dog with her hand and said "See? Nice!" Now, anytime she approaches the dog, she grabs my hand and pets the dog. It was so cute!
Strawberries: Radio stations who play your jams, packing for a much-anticipated trip, and teaching your baby sister how to be nice to animals.

Fri, Jan. 16 - The day started with Freddie telling me he was stuck on the freeway with no gas, so Jaelene and I packed up the car with my luggage, gas tank, and Madeline to save Freddie and then drop me off at work. We found Freddie on the 101 near the Thomas exit and loaded his car up with gas from the tank we filled up.
My workday was pretty mellow up until the last hour. I was busy with confirming some new shows, updating a press release, setting up a social media campaign, all while having Seattle on my mind. I ended up staying until 5:30 finishing up work for the weekend while Freddie waited for me. After work, we headed out to dinner at Cornish Pasty before heading to the airport.
After I landed in Seattle, Kinsey picked me up and it felt so good to be with her. She took me to the restaurant she works at and we got some drinks before heading home to unwind from the day.
Strawberries: Helping friends when they run out of gas on the freeway, having a job that keeps me busy and motivated, and being in my favorite city with my best friend.

Sat, Jan. 17 - Kinsey and I woke up and got brunch at a restaurant in Capitol Hill. We spent the whole day roaming around the city. We went record store shopping and went to a really cool bookstore and I found one of my favorite books. We even went on this gorgeous drive through Madrona and listened to some chill music to accompany the drive.
After roaming through Capitol Hill for the afternoon, we headed back to her home to get ready for the evening. We headed over to her friend Molly's house to pre-game the night of drinking and listen to records. Because it was raining pretty heavily, we called an Uber to drive us to the bar down the street.
After drinking at the Neighbor Lady, we headed to Moe Bar which is connected to Nuemos and Barboza, a music venue. I met more of Kinsey's friends and her man and we all drank and laughed. I sent drunk texts and enjoyed the company of great people.
Strawberries: Exploring Seattle with Kinsey, Uber to drive us around in the rain, and getting drunk with some great friends. 

Sun, Jan. 18 - We slept in and after enjoying some much needed relaxation in bed, Kinsey and I headed out to lunch in Madison Park. While we were eating, the Seahawks/Packers game had just ended and all of Seattle was celebrating that they were going to the Super Bowl AGAIN. It was a great time to be in the city
After Kinsey went to work, I wandered through Capitol Hill alone. I got coffee at Stumptown while I blogged briefly, then I walked down the street to grab some dinner at a very cool diner where they served poutine. It felt refreshing to get out on my own.
After dinner, I walked over to Chop Suey to enjoy one of their last shows. While I was there, I met so many cool people and enjoyed some authentic local Seattle sounds. Kinsey joined me after she got off work and we experienced TacocaT together before heading home.
Strawberries: Seahawks going to the Super Bowl, coffee and dinner in solitude, and experiencing a local show in another city.

Strawberry Sundays: Musical Friends and Getting Work Done

Every Sunday, I recap the prior week and recognize the beautiful things in my life, or the "strawberries" as I like to call them, because strawberries are my favorite fruit.

Mon, Jan. 5 - After two weeks of holiday break, I returned to work. Even though I was getting too used to sleeping in and not having an agenda, it was time for me to get back into the swing of work. I love my job, and my job treats me well, and I'm thankful to begin another year with this company.
Freddie and I run a video-based music blog called Underground Alt, and for 2015 we proposed to publish a new video every Monday. For our first Monday, we released a video of local acoustic duo Vinyl Station covering a song from local rockers Snake! Snake! Snakes! and the outpour of support for this video was abundant!
After work, I headed to Crescent Ballroom to work on Underground Alt work with Freddie. While we were there, acoustic singer-songwriters were playing in the lounge, and we enjoyed soulful tunes from Brian Chartrand. He even gave us his album for free.
Strawberries: I have a job that I love, I am working on a project with my best friend, and the music scene in Phoenix never ceases to surprise me.

Tues, Jan. 6 - After work, I went to Crescent Ballroom (again) to see my friends in Speak Easy play music. This was their first show with my friend, Ryan, added on bass. They played such a great show and they make me more proud with every performance.
At the show, Blake, the lead member of Speak Easy and dear friend of mine, asked me to act as band manager for them. I was ecstatic! As their manager, I help book them shows and maintain a social media presence, as well as help put their album together once they're finished recording.
After the show was finished, Freddie and I went back to his home to work on more Underground Alt. As the hours dragged on, we got sleepy and he let me stay the night so I wouldn't have to make the long drive home on such low energy.
Strawberries: Friends who make beautiful music, bands that put their trust in me for their future success, and friends who let me sleep in their home when I'm too weary to sleep in my own.


Wednesday and Thursday were uneventful

Fri, Jan. 9 - After work I went to Normal Diner to work on Underground Alt stuff. I wrote up so many proposals and updated the calendar. I felt so productive making so many plans for the future.
After the diner, I headed to Phoenix to see my friend's show. On the way there, I noticed my friends in Bogan Via recorded my favorite mash-up cover: "Hallelulaj / Crown of Love". This song made me weep in the audience when they played it live last month, so I'm very happy to see they recorded it.
Just like Tuesday, I saw my friends Speak Easy live, but this time at Last Exit Live. They played a great set, and I got to talk with them afterwards.
Strawberries: Being productive, having my favorite recorded by friends, and seeing my friends perform live twice in one week.

Sat, Jan. 10 - I started my day with my dad making me homemade French toast. I love having breakfast at home, because it's made with love...and I don't have to change out of my PJ's.
After taking a nap, I came downstairs and took my sister outside to walk around the back patio. Jaelene and my dad were out back and Madeline was running around and giggling. Now that she's walking she wants to explore everything!
I needed to get out of the house, so I packed up my laptop and headed to Normal Diner to work on some writing. I've been drafting a short story, so I worked on that until Freddie joined me and we switched gears to work on Underground Alt projects.
Strawberries: Homemade French toast, playing with my sister, and escaping to a diner to work on personal projects.

Sun, Jan 11 - After spending most of the weekend in bed, I crawled out of bed and noticed on the baby monitor that Madeline was sitting up in her crib and was attempting - and succeeding - to take off her sleeper onesie. I went upstairs and got her out of bed and noticed both of my parents were outside cleaning my step-brother's Jeep. I put Madeline's shoes on her and we took her outside. She was screaming with excitement, and laughing and trying to run. She loves being outside and exploring the new world now that she can walk.
After that, I went to the nail salon with Jaelene. She rewarded me for quitting my nail-biting habit with a manicure. After 24 years of constant nail-biting, it feels like such a relief to not have to look at my bloody fingers.
I met some friends at Cornish Pasty for lunch and to play Cards Against Humanity. The group of people I met with were four guys who are members of the CAPSLOCK MONDAY group on Facebook, which is a group that posts only in Capslock, mostly on Mondays, but always about shitty situations in our lives. The group has really brought me out of my shell and made me realize that sometimes my life isn't so bad.
Strawberries: Seeing the world through a one-year-old's eyes, freshly-manicured fingernails, and CAPSLOCK MONDAY hangouts.