Richard McPherson is my biological father. Twenty-three years ago, he and my mom dated. He left for school, didn't leave an address or phone number or ANYWAY for my mom to contact him. And, remember, this is 1990: no Facebook, cell phones, internet, Google, etc. So, then, my mom finds out she's pregnant with me. I was born originally as Amanda Jenkins on December 26, 1990.
After I was born, my mom meets Casey Kimes, my adoptive father. They married when I was ten months old, legally changing my last name from Jenkins to Kimes. My sister, Allyson Kimes, was born when I was three years old. My mom and Casey divorced when I was ten years old.
It wasn't until I was around the age of twelve when I found out that Casey was not my biological father. I don't remember how the subject was brought up, but I do remember feeling a bit lost. If this man who raised me during my childhood was not my father, then who was? If you've ever seen the movie "What a Girl Wants" starring Amanda Bynes, you'll know what I'm talking about. This girl has no clue who her dad is, goes on a quest to find him, finally finds him, tries to fit into his life, and it doesn't work out. She said, "I just want to know who the other half of me is, because I feel like half of me is missing."
I always asked my mom about my biological dad. What he was like, what his name was, where he was. I wanted to find him. It wasn't because I wanted to replace Casey; it was because I wanted to know the other half of my DNA.
About two years ago, Richard added my mom on Facebook. You could imagine the thought process of my poor mother. She obviously knew this was my dad, but had no clue how to bring up, "Hey, btw, you have a 20-year-old daughter."
She decided to just hang out with him, catch up on life, etc. She even introduced us before even bringing up the subject! After we met and she saw we were friendly with each other, she went on a fishing trip to Flagstaff with him, where she broke the news to him on the 3-hour drive home.
Just to make sure, he and I got a DNA test done and the results say 99.998% positive he's my dad.
Two years has passed since that DNA test. He and I have been working on getting to know each other and catching up on the last 22 years.
My relationship with Casey hasn't changed. If anything, we've grown so much closer over the past few years. We meet for dinner every week (whenever he's in town and I'm not busy with work, of course). He even threw me an awesome graduation party. He's supportive and loving and comes to all my shows and fixes my car. He's still a dad to me, even though I'm not biologically his, and he doesn't have to. But I know he does these things for me because I am his baby girl, and he loves me just as much as my sister.
My relationship with Richard has been growing. It's a bit difficult since he teaches in a town three hours away and he and I are always so busy. But, we work at it. He helps me with improving my car and making sure I get things done and makes sure I wear sunscreen.
I have been blessed with two fathers, as well as a mother. While most people have two parents, I have three. So, not only do I get three times the love, I also get three times the parental guidance and discipline, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Casey Kimes on the left // Richard McPherson on the right
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