Today, I had crazy emotionally-draining day. I had spent all day in my car, stinky and sweaty because of the heat. I had spent all day crying and wiping snot from my nose and trying to find the air to breathe and put words together. I was the epitome of a hot mess.
I had made friends to meet with a friend later, and I was in his part of town for most of the day. I didn't want to drive home and then drive back, so I was looking for somewhere to campout momentarily until he was finished with his tasks to hang out with me. Since he lives near Mesa Community College, I figured I would go to my old stomping grounds and hang out in the coffee shop to use the WiFi and maybe score a coffee from Austin. I pulled into the parking lot and noticed the whole lot was entirely packed. What the hell was going on at MCC tonight?
GRADUATION.
(By the way, I got outta that parking lot fast.)
Had it already been a whole year since I graduated college? Where had the time gone? What had I accomplished with my life since walking across the stage, accepting my degree, and bowing before the principal?
Well, if you remember my first blog post, I had quite a whirlwind of a first few couple months of 2013, and an even crazier rest of the year. 2014 hasn't looked promising either.
Yet, in my failures and despairs, I have to remember the great things:
I found a job in my field of study. A paying job. People keep asking me how my internship with Danny is going, and I always tell them "No, I get paid for my work, sucker." Sure, it's still part time and I never know what to expect when I walk into the office, but that's half the excitement of my job.
I moved to Phoenix. I live in a fast-paced city where music and art and culture are thriving. I'm constantly meeting new people who have fascinating projects going on, and most of them live near me. Sure, it's more expensive than living in Tempe, but it beats living with other people and dealing with Tempe hoodrats.
I have established Mixtape Mandi. Nothing makes me more proud than my project, which I love showing off and telling people about. I have a thing, I do things, I blog things. Music things. And I love what I do. Sure, it's all free work, but I hope to change that soon. Mixtape Mandi got some bills to pay and music to buy.
I have the best family in the world. Well, maybe in the entire world, I'm sure you're family is great, too. But my family is perfect for me. They have always been my constant support system and have been there for me for every blog post, every laundry night, every late night getaway, every bill I have gotten behind in paying, and every last minute emergency. I could not ask for a better combination of people to be my family.
I have some truly awesome people as friends. In the past year, I've managed to keep old friends, lose friends to unfortunate but necessary circumstances, and gain new friendships. I'd say in the past year, I've met so many new people that I can't even begin to count all the new friendships I've made.
I'm still alive. It's true, I have to thank God for every day I wake up, every meal I eat, and every breath I take. Without Him, I am nothing. Without Him, nothing I do matters. He put this fire in me to pursue music and touch others' lives and to inspire others to chase their dreams. I'm by no means successful, but I'm a child of God, and that's more precious than riches.
So, why was I so emotional earlier? I was behind on a bill, and my family came together to help me. Looking back, I really didn't need to freak out. It's been a year since graduating college; did I really think I'd have it all figured out by now? If anything, twenty-three is harder than twenty-two.
I just gotta keep tellin' myself the same thing:
Keep your head up, Mandi. There's a lotta people out there rootin' for you.
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