Moving #24WARD: Spring Cleaning

//When the time comes, move with the season// - Temples' "Move With the Season"

This past weekend, my boyfriend went out of town with some friends and I was really struggling with what to do. Most weekends we spend together: laying in bed until we are forced to get up, eventually getting brunch, sometimes attending a show or doing work together. All in all, my weekends were time I spent with him.

Since he was going to be gone this weekend, I decided to treat myself. I decided to do the things I had been putting off, like cleaning my room and getting rid of items I don't need. I also decided to pamper myself with a new hairdo and some new clothes to help put a spring in my step.

Friday after work, I went shopping at the Savers in North Scottsdale. I had heard they had the best collection (wealthy, fashionable people tend to live in that area), and I really need to adjust my wardrobe to a more fashionable, summery look. As much as I love my sweaters, it was time to retire them for button-up blouses and tank tops. I ended up buying about twenty-something items all for $100! I really struck gold.

Saturday morning, I got outta bed with no hesitation and headed to a local diner to grab some breakfast and dive into my Bible. I have been really struggling spiritually lately, so I wanted to spend an hour of my morning reading about what it means to have a pure heart and a steadfast spirit: it means to let go of the bullshit that's corroding you inside and allowing God to take over and radiate compassion and mercy.

Saturday afternoon, I met up with Julz at her salon in Tempe called Mood Swings. Julz always knows how to take care of my hair, and after five months of not seeing her, it was time for some upkeep. She trimmed my bangs, colored my hair the bright red that I love, and added some extra goodness in my hair while washing it to keep it healthy and keep the color lasting longer. Next time, I won't wait so long to see her, because, with hair like this, how can I stay away?!

Over the course of Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I cleaned my room and organized my dresser. With the weather rapidly changing to warmer degrees, it was time to move my sweaters, legging, and jackets to the back and bring my tank tops, blouses, and shorts to the front. I also went through and tried on every piece of clothing to see what fits and made a pile of clothes to finally get rid of. After all my clothes were organized, I dumped all of my old clothes into a bag and headed out to get rid of them. I stopped by Buffalo Exchange, where they took three items, and in exchange, I got a bag that is the perfect size between my purse and backpack: for when I need to tote my iPad, notebook, flyers, etc., but don't wanna lug around my laptop.

One of my dear friends that I got to know well over the past six months received a DREAM JOB in Philadelphia, so before she moves next week (sad!) she hosted a moving sale at her apartment. I stopped by to check out what she was selling, which included this gorgeous couch, some dishes, other pieces of furniture, and some clothes. I ended up buying a sequined, flower shirt (which I will be wearing to her going away party - stay tuned!) and a trunk to fit all of my vinyl in! I'm so sad she will be leaving soon, especially since she's a new friend to me, but I am so excited for all the amazing opportunities ahead of her. YOU GO GIRL.

With my new hair, new clothes, and a spring in my step with the new season, I'm working on being a better version of me. This weekend was the breath of fresh air that I needed to allow myself to blossom into the butterfly that had been hidden in the winter cocoon.

"When the time comes, move with the season."

My First Psychiatrist Appointment

I've been seeing my therapist for about six months now, and I look forward to each visit. Since day one, she has listened to my issues and given me really sound advice and helpful tips to help with my sleep habits, anxiety, stress, and how to discuss my problems with others. She tells me to contact her if anything happens, and checks up on recent issues I have been facing. Most importantly, she cares. She genuinely cares about me, and treats me more than a patient, but actually as a friend.

After being diagnosed depressed in December and starting medication, the next step was to visit a psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis and further research my medication and see if there's a possibility that something else might be "wrong" with me.
However, when I made the appointment in December, the wait was so long that I didn't get to see a psychiatrist until today, March 23rd.

I have been really anxious to see a psychiatrist, mostly because of the medical side of things. I've been nervous to sit down with a medical professional and pick at my brain to see what else is in there that I don't know about. But, at the same time, I was ready for treatment.

When I got to her office, she had forgotten about my appointment, so i caught her off-guard. Then, she looked at my paperwork, and would call me "Kim" by accident because my last name is "Kimes". Aside from the mistakes, I didn't receive a welcoming or gentle nature from her like I did with my therapist.
This was the first five minutes of being in her office, and I already felt uncomfortable, so I shut down.

The hour went by with a series of questions that I know are required of her to ask, and a series of hesitation in my mind that anything was going to be fixed. Ultimately, I felt like another typical depressed patient that she wanted to fix, and not as a human being. She seemed to make assumptions about my life without ever having met me.

For example:
"Do you often feel like being away from people?"
"Yeah...I mean, lately I have found it hard to go..."
"...to work?"
"No...to social events."

"Are you sexually active?"
"Yes." (TMI, sorry.)
"Have you had long-term relationships in your past?"
Thinking back to a relationship I had a few years ago that lasted four years.
"Yeah."
"Are you depressed because of a recent breakup? was the breakup hard for you?"
"No...[unnamed] stole my identity and that is why I'm depressed."
"Oh...dear. You poor thing."

"Do you drink alcohol?"
"Only on weekends."
"How much do you drink?"
"Over the span of the whole weekend?"
"Yes."
"Hm...I'd say probably somewhere around four drinks for the whole weekend."
"Oh my. That's too much. I think you should look into the 12 Steps from Alcoholics Anonymous."

At the end of the appointment, she diagnosed me with "Adjustment Disorder". She told me she'd like me to take some tests and return in three weeks. I'm going to take the tests, return in three weeks, and hope for better results. If nothing better happens, I may consider seeing someone else who might not categorize me as if they know me.

I just hope I can get better soon.