One Year Post-Graduation: Time to Freak Out

Today, I had crazy emotionally-draining day. I had spent all day in my car, stinky and sweaty because of the heat. I had spent all day crying and wiping snot from my nose and trying to find the air to breathe and put words together. I was the epitome of a hot mess.
I had made friends to meet with a friend later, and I was in his part of town for most of the day. I didn't want to drive home and then drive back, so I was looking for somewhere to campout momentarily until he was finished with his tasks to hang out with me. Since he lives near Mesa Community College, I figured I would go to my old stomping grounds and hang out in the coffee shop to use the WiFi and maybe score a coffee from Austin. I pulled into the parking lot and noticed the whole lot was entirely packed. What the hell was going on at MCC tonight?

GRADUATION.
(By the way, I got outta that parking lot fast.)

Had it already been a whole year since I graduated college? Where had the time gone? What had I accomplished with my life since walking across the stage, accepting my degree, and bowing before the principal?

Well, if you remember my first blog post, I had quite a whirlwind of a first few couple months of 2013, and an even crazier rest of the year. 2014 hasn't looked promising either.

Yet, in my failures and despairs, I have to remember the great things:
   I found a job in my field of study. A paying job. People keep asking me how my internship with Danny is going, and I always tell them "No, I get paid for my work, sucker." Sure, it's still part time and I never know what to expect when I walk into the office, but that's half the excitement of my job.
   I moved to Phoenix. I live in a fast-paced city where music and art and culture are thriving. I'm constantly meeting new people who have fascinating projects going on, and most of them live near me. Sure, it's more expensive than living in Tempe, but it beats living with other people and dealing with Tempe hoodrats.
   I have established Mixtape Mandi. Nothing makes me more proud than my project, which I love showing off and telling people about. I have a thing, I do things, I blog things. Music things. And I love what I do. Sure, it's all free work, but I hope to change that soon. Mixtape Mandi got some bills to pay and music to buy.
   I have the best family in the world. Well, maybe in the entire world, I'm sure you're family is great, too. But my family is perfect for me. They have always been my constant support system and have been there for me for every blog post, every laundry night, every late night getaway, every bill I have gotten behind in paying, and every last minute emergency. I could not ask for a better combination of people to be my family.
   I have some truly awesome people as friends. In the past year, I've managed to keep old friends, lose friends to unfortunate but necessary circumstances, and gain new friendships. I'd say in the past year, I've met so many new people that I can't even begin to count all the new friendships I've made.
   I'm still alive. It's true, I have to thank God for every day I wake up, every meal I eat, and every breath I take. Without Him, I am nothing. Without Him, nothing I do matters. He put this fire in me to pursue music and touch others' lives and to inspire others to chase their dreams. I'm by no means successful, but I'm a child of God, and that's more precious than riches.

So, why was I so emotional earlier? I was behind on a bill, and my family came together to help me. Looking back, I really didn't need to freak out. It's been a year since graduating college; did I really think I'd have it all figured out by now? If anything, twenty-three is harder than twenty-two.

I just gotta keep tellin' myself the same thing:
Keep your head up, Mandi. There's a lotta people out there rootin' for you.

Seattle, Here I Come!

When I graduated college a year ago, my dad and his girlfriend gifted me with a $250 Southwest Airline credit. Finally, a vacation! I was so excited to use the credit that I made a list of places I had wanted to go, and the list was long! Over the past year, I constantly found ways I could go on vacation, but something always got in the way. Actually, last summer at Liberty Market, everyone took a trip over the break, except for me. I spent my entire summer working, which was nice for my paychecks, but sucked for my sanity.

A few weeks ago I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I don't know if it was the combination of the medicine I was taking, the lack of food in my tummy, or the sheer boredom of not being able to do anything, but that weekend I booked my flight for Seattle for Thursday May 22 through Sunday May 25. STEP ONE WAS COMPLETE!

Now comes the reality: What am I going to do in Seattle? I have never been, but I knew I wanted to scope out the music scene. I want to check out record stores, a local show at a cool venue, hip coffee shops where I can blog. What are some Seattle "must"s for this music lover?

Also, another big wake-up call: Where am I going to stay? I have a few friends in Seattle, but most of them are musicians and almost always touring. If you know someone who wouldn't mind a petite redhead on their couch, hook a soul sister up. I'm also trying to spend as little money as possible.

And another thing: How am I going to get around town? Living in Phoenix, everyone drives, or if they don't own a car, they ride the bus, the lightrail, or a bike. Since I've never been to Seattle, I'm not sure what their big form of getting around town is. I'm not old enough to rent a car, so public transit is my only option.

I cannot wait to explore new territory and get away from Phoenix for a weekend. This vacation has been a long-time coming and I want to enjoy every minute of it. If you can help in anyway with this trip, please let me know. Any help is very much appreciated!

Marriage is a Scary Thing

Yesterday, at 1:30 in the afternoon on one of the most gorgeous days Arizona has blessed us with, my boyfriend took me to a park where we would discuss our future plans. Instead of what I had hoped would happen (that is, our plans aligning), it was brought to both of attentions that our plans are, in fact, different.

Let me back up.

From September 2008 to February 2012, I dated my high school sweetheart. Being together for over four years starts to raise concern: is our love the same now when we started dating? Is he ever going to propose? Does he even want to be with me? Or is he with me because it's "comfortable" and to break up would be a bother? Eventually, our relationship became tense and we grew angry with each other and he broke up with me because we changed so much over the course of four years, and our plans no longer aligned. He didn't want to marry me, and all I wanted was a future with him.

Three months later, I meet Matt. If you remember my blog posts and Instagram pictures, you'll remember how hard I fell in love with him. The first month was the best: we went to concerts, introduced each other to new places, listened to music we both loved (and hated). It was summertime and the heat was rising and the sunsets were beautiful and I was on fire. I knew meeting Matt was something special.

It's been over nine months. We were stuck with the realization that those people are gone and it's time to move forward. Where are you gonna work next year? Where are you gonna live next year? What are your goals--musically and career-wise? And then the big one: do you see a future with me?

He said no, he didn't.

I don't understand. I was just here last year. Why do I keep getting "stuck" in these relationships that don't go anywhere? Am I not marriage-material? Do I not possess "wife" qualities?

Then I thought about something: what is marriage? Why did I hold it so important in my head? Why is marriage my ultimate goal?

Maybe it was the way I was raised. My parents divorced when I was ten years old. My mom has since remarried and tried to make things work, while my dad will never remarry again and has a new baby girl with his girlfriend. Now, I understand my family life is the furthest thing from normal. Maybe I was exposed to the downfall of marriage early in life. Since elementary school, I was stuck in the middle of divorce, custody battles, switching between houses for weekends and holidays and birthdays.

Maybe I wanted to get married to prove something to my family.

I also factor in that I am 23 years old and all my girlfriends are at the age where they are either engaged, married, having their first child, and, for some, their second child. And I look at where I am in my life: living in a small apartment in Phoenix, running a music blog that doesn't generate any income whatsoever, barely being able to afford all my bills, and spending my free time at record stores or concerts or coffee shops. Am I still stuck in college? Is there a deadline for when I need to settle down? How am I gonna catch up to these ladies who seem to understand life better than I do?

Maybe I wanted to get married to fit in.

If there's one thing I planned for my future, it's that I wanted to marry Matt. Not even last a year or two, move in together, take a vacation together. I wanted to marry him. But, is that really what I wanted? Or did I want the Klassen last name? Did I want the fancy wedding to invite all of our friends and dress up nice and exchange vows and have one wicked party? Did I want the joint bank account and the tax benefits and the sharing of everything?

Because, honestly, once you're married, nothing (romantically) changes. We would still watch Battlestar Galactica together. We would still go to concerts and buy records. We would still go to work, come home, eat dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, and go to bed. As far as our dating life is concerned, marriage isn't anything special. It's the same two people, just with rings on their fingers and a marriage license, and a different last name for the girl.

Maybe I didn't want to get married at all.

Maybe I just wanted to look forward to the fact that for, at least a little while longer, I could still enjoy our favorite things together. For just a little while longer, we could have each other. That is, until he decided what his plans were and moved on.

To all of you who loved me and Matt as much as I loved us, know that I never expected this to happen and that I wish I could fix this. But there's really nothing I could do, and that's what kills me. I'm sorry we didn't work out. I wanted so badly for us to work out. I'm really going to miss him and getting over him is going to be tough.

But maybe this is my wake up call. Wake up, Mandi: you're 23 years old, you're in the beginning stages of your career, and if there's one thing you learned in the last year, it's this.

Don't build your current happiness and future plans on someone else.

I did that with Austin. I did that with Matt. And now here I am: no man to call my own and I am a mess. I invested too much in my relationships and lost a bit of myself in trying to be what he wants me to be so he can keep me. But, what I really need to do is find the things that make ME happy, without anyone else around. Make future plans that are specific to ME, and if no one agrees with me or my plans, then they don't need to be there. I need to focus on Mandi again. It's going to take time and a lot of music to get over this breakup. But, I will rise again.

Why I believe in God, but don't go to church

**some names have been changed for protection purposes

I am a Christian. I gave my life to The Lord when I was thirteen years old in the pouring rain at a Christian summer camp. I will follow him until the end of my days. However, I will not go to church. I do not like church. Here is my story.

I was raised in a Christian household. My parents took us to church where I was involved in children's choir for a while. After my parents divorced, both of my parents stopped going to church, so that meant my sister and I also stopped.

When I was around twelve years old, my mom started going back to church at Gateway Fellowship, a southern baptist church in Gilbert. After I saw her life get back together through this church, I started going, and then eventually my grandparents and my sister.

I was heavily involved in Gateway. I did choir, AWANAs, Bible Quiz Team, led worship in the youth ministry, performed in weekend services and yearly musicals, helped in the nursery, led Bible study, went to church camp, went on mission trips. I did it all. It was through Gateway that I went to Centrifuge, a Christian summer camp, for six years in a row.

I went to Gateway until I was sixteen. Why did I leave?

My mother had met a man at Gateway named Ben who was growing through a rough divorce. His wife was literally psycho. Since my mother had gone through divorce, Ben had asked for help as far as prayer, filing divorce papers, finding a place to live, etc. They spent time together, and after their divorce was finalized, they began a relationship.

Note: my mother did not end their marriage. Their marriage was already ended before they engaged in a relationship. My mother did not plan on falling for Ben in the process, but it happened.

Ben's family was very involved in the church, both physically (like I was) and financially. They spread rumors about my mother being a "homewrecker". Kids in youth group would corner me and tease me, asking why my mother would destroy a marriage. As if I had any clue.

It got to the point where my family no longer felt safe at church. So, we left and fund a new church.

We started going to Sun Valley Community Church in Gilbert. I actually like this church pretty well. I went to youth group every week and participated in the worship band. I started dating a guy in the youth group as well who was a couple years older than me. I was sixteen, he was eighteen, and we were madly in love...at least we thought we were, (you knowhow dramatic high school kids are). A few months into our relationship, I found out he cheated on me with my best friend. Most of the youth group knew. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of our relationship that I left.

I stopped going to church for about a year. At this point I was not a fan. Then, I met Austin.

Before Austin and I started dating, he invited me to his church to watch him play guitar in the church band. I woke up one Sunday morning and made my way to his church: Mission Community Church in Gilbert. This church was the mother church of all churches...at least in the East Valley. Most of the kids in my high school went to Mission.

When Austin and I started dating, I went to Mission regularly. I, once again, joined the worship band and performed in the junior high and high school services. When I entered college, I started going to the college group Ember. I became involved in their band, and eventually became a small group leader. I was all about this Mission church.

Then something happened that changed my whole idea of church to the point where I decided not to do church anymore. And it's all thanks to Mission for opening my eyes to this problem.

A friend of mine, Renee, came home from Canada after being gone for a while. Her husband would come down later that year after his visa expired. Since she didn't know hardly anyone anymore, Austin and I brought her to Ember. She made friends and felt so welcome.

One of the friends she made was Steven, who welcomed her into the church. They hung out a lot. Until it became obvious that they liked each other.

Renee felt guilty, because she still loved her husband. She didn't want a divorce, she just wanted these feelings for Steven to go away without ruining their friendship. She brought it up to Steven and he agreed that they should probably leave their friendship alone for a little bit until things died down.

However, Steven went to the lead pastor asking for guidance, and claimed that "Renee is coming onto me and I don't know what to do because she's married and being unloyal to her husband and blah blah blah."

Do you think the pastor asked Renee about the issue? No, he did not.

Instead, he asked her to leave the church, because adulteresses don't belong in their church.

He didn't offer to pray with her. e didn't offer marriage counseling. He didn't offer the helping hand of The Lord. Instead, he kicked her out.

This act of pushing a sinner away caused me to leave. I looked back at my church experience, and realized that people had always brought sin up to the sinner's face and held it over their head instead of offering forgiveness or a helping hand.

We're all sinners. There's no perfect person. So, what makes you more perfect than my mother, my cheating boyfriend, my friend, or me?

I believe in The Lord Jesus Christ. I have a personal relationship with him. He is my Father, I am His daughter, and I live my life for Him. I meet with a friend to do Bible study every so often. I read my Bible every day, and pray whenever I'm happy, sad, need guidance, or raising blessings up to him.

I don't need church to have a relationship with Jesus. In fact, I'm not sure if I will ever return to church. And that is totally okay with me.

Why do I bring this up, you ask? Why, all of a sudden, do I give you my background on church and rant about the fall and hypocracy of church?

Because the lead pastor who accused my friend of cheating on her husband and personally asked her to leave his church has now been accused of cheating on his wife with church members. And he admitted to it.

And people are praying for him. And offering him guidance. And reaching out the hand of Christ.

Because he's a pastor. And, apparently, that makes him more worthy of forgiveness than my friend.

 While I am furious at his actions and his sin and his behavior towards my friend; while I sit back and think about how bad karma is; while I so badly want to say "ha ha you sinned!"

I am still going to pray for him and his family.

Beause that's what you do when a member of the church falls. You help them back up. You pray for the sinners. You offer the hand of The Lord and treat them with kindness, just as Jesus would.

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of The Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; The Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they wlill be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:13-16 

Clothing Swap Party

So, I've had this idea to do a clothing swap party for close to three years now. And it's still never happened. Here's what I envision:

Girlfriends of mine and their girlfriends will donate clothes they don't want anymore. Not T-shirts and cut-off shorts kinda clothes. Like nice, gently worn, no holes or stains kinda clothes. I collect the donations from friends and host a clothing swap party, where girls come over and flip through racks of gently-worn, nice clothes and walk away with something new.

The best part? Girls who donate get to come to the party and shop for free.
Girls who come to the party and didn't donate pay a small price that the original owner states. Nothing too expensive. Maybe like five dollars or whatever.

And not just clothes either! Shoes, jewelry, purses, belts, scarves, hats, etc. Bring anything that's lying in your closet that you don't wear anymore that could go to another cute owner.

So, ladies, what do you think? Is this something you'd be interested in assisting me with? I'd love to host something like this, but I would need your donations, your presence, and your support. Leave a comment below.

2013: A Look Back

With 2014 around the corner, I took some time to reflect on all the changes I went through this year: A LOT. My life has gone through so many ups-and-downs this year, and I am so excited to see what 2014 is going to throw my way. If I could sum up 2013 in one word, it would be: grow. I grew so much. This was the year I transitioned from a child to an adult, a girl to a woman, a student to a graduate. 2014, bring it on. Here's what you have to compete with:


January - Moved to Tempe
With my mom moving to Rio Rico, I needed to find a new place to live. After searching for a roommate and a place to live, I finally chose an apartment complex in Tempe with a friend of mine from high school, Frankie. I packed up all the contents in my room and moved across town on a rainy weekend. Of course, I had to juggle playing a show that night and working all weekend along with the moving process, but we finally got everything moved in and arranged in time for our housewarming game night the next weekend.

January - Started music business internship at Yucca Tap Room
I was finally beginning my last semester of college, but I needed to complete an internship before graduation. I finally decided to go with Yucca Tap Room, a music venue and bar that is literally walking distance from my new apartment. While I was interning at Yucca Tap, I booked bands to play shows, input data entry for show statistics, offered hospitality to bands on show nights, and did a lot of networking. But the bulk of my internship was spent on foot/my bike traveling around Tempe and Phoenix to distribute show flyers. I gained an understanding of the city and its culture, as well as met people along my route.

February - Ended relationship with Austin
After four long years, Austin and I decided to call it quits. We tried to make things work, but we just grew apart from the people that we were in high school when we started dating. Breaking up was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, but it was definitely one of the best...I just didn't realize that until later.

April - Started my new tattoo
I had three small tattoos before, but now I was ready to embark on my quarter-sleeve tattoo that was custom-designed just for me. My friend, Corey, did an amazing job! Just one more session to go.

May - Left internship at Yucca Tap Room
After five months of brutal intern work, I was ready to complete my hours and get my degree. Near the end of my internship, it became apparent that I was no longer needed, so I decided not to continue my internship there past my necessary 160 hours.

May - Graduated from Mesa Community College
I DID IT!!!!!I went through four brutal years of double-majoring (eventually dropped one of my majors) and graduated from Mesa Community College. I studied my ass off and worked extra hard to make sure I graduated on time. I had to retake public speaking and accounting because I failed, and I also lost some classes because I was dropped a few times. But, eventually, I earned my good grades and blue gown and walked across the stage towards my Associates in Music Business.

May - My grandmother passed away
After a long and painful struggle, my grandmother took her last breath and entered heaven to be with The Lord. She battled liver, lung, and breast cancer all at the same time, and it was devastating to watch her in pain and not be able to help her. I am happy that she is pain-free and with God.

May - Met and began a relationship with Matt
Seriously, the highlight of my year.
I've written on my blog about Matt, and I can go on and on and on about how much better my life is with him in it. He picks me up when I'm down, supports me, goes on adventures with me, and is there to offer tough love advice when I need it. We agree (and also disagree) on music, watch Battlestar Galactica together, go to shows together, karaoke together, flip through vinyl together. It's just so nice to be able to do things together. I love him, he loves me...and that's all that matters.

June - Left Emby Alexander
I had been performing in Emby Alexander for over a year. It was fun, but when Austin and I broke up, things got weird. Things got weird fast.
I tried really hard to be professional and not let emotions get in the way of band practice and shows. But when I ignored Austin, more problems ensued. Michael and I would argue about the direction of the band. I wanted to sing more and get more involved in the band, and he didn't want that. I wanted to perform without my bandmates throwing a fit and yelling and acting like immature hooligans. So I left.
This was another hard decision. I loved performing, and some people would come up to me after shows and tell me over and over how much they loved my voice and my performance. I didn't want to leave performing, but I needed to leave this band.

July - Started Mixtape Mandi
After leaving Emby, I was going to more shows and listening to more albums and meeting more people involved in music. I wanted to create an outlet for all my music stuff, without flooding my feed on my personal Facebook/Intstagram. So I created a music account called "Mixtape Mandi" where I can talk about all my favorite music without bugging my friends who could care less.
After that was born, I started collaborating ideas with other networks. I work with Radio Adventure Club to produce podcast episodes every Friday. I work with The Spec Blog to produce album reviews and artist interviews. I work with AZ Music Matters to produce album reviews and concert calendars.
I'm excited to see what will happen for Mixtape Mandi in the future and all the people I have yet to meet.

November - Started working at Danny Zelisko Presents
After six months of graduating and not having a job that fits my degree (which is pretty good, if you ask me) I finally got a job in music business. Currently, I am a part-time office assistant for Danny Zelisko Presents, a music promotion company here in Phoenix that specializes in national touring shows. Even though I am an office assistant, I am learning so much about the business just through all the paperwork I handle. I do tons of emailing, filing, copying, scanning, shredding...and which each document, the ladies in the office have been really helpful with explaining how important each document is to each show. My goal is to be hired full-time soon, but, with everything in life, you gotta work to get the things you want in life. So, that's what I'm gonna do.

 

 

December - Baby sister was born

It's crazy to think that I would become a big sister again at the age of 23, but it happened! Just two days after my birthday, Madeline Elizabeth Kimes was born on December 28 at 12:17am. I cannot wait to watch this beauty grow and show her all kinds of awesome music. My dad and stepmom sure do make a great team and a cute baby.



2014 New Year's Resolutions

HEALTH:
 - Do you work the next morning? What time? Go to bed ten hours before you have to clock in to work. Sometimes when you don't get enough sleep, you get cranky. And you stay up late blogging or hanging out at Lux or at a show, when you really don't need to. In bed, lights out, and phone away ten hours before your daily grind begins.
 - Since you don't work most evenings, those might be good times for you to go to the gym you signed up for then forgot about. Even if you don't make it to the gym, you can still do some workouts at home.
 - It might be a good idea to only save alcoholic beverages for the weekend. You really don't need that vodka-cranberry on a Monday evening after a "long day at the office" or because "Matt's having a beer, I should drink too". Drink water, or coffee, but let your hair down and unwind on the weekends with your cocktail.
 - I'm not saying you're fat, but you've put on some extra, uhm...love. And we all know you can't stick to a diet for more than a day without getting cranky and demanding pizza. So, just be aware of what you eat and make healthy decisions: upgrade to a salad instead of fries, try the burger without a bun, eat more greens, etc.
 - Remember when you were in high school and you took that one yoga class and you really liked it? Remember when you stopped doing yoga and life got hard? Sign up for a yoga class and attend at least once a week, to get your crazy and busy schedule and plans out of your head for just one hour.
 - When was the last time you got a checkup for your eyes, ears, teeth, spine, lady parts, etc.? Schedule a doctor's appointment during January to see all your doctors to check up on your body and make sure everything's running the way it should be. Go back whenever they advise you to.
 - Your parents got you a really sick bike two Christmases ago. You should ride your bike every Sunday. Get some fresh air and ride it to the coffee shop, to the record store, to check the mail. Just get some exercise and let the wind hit your face and wake you up from your blogging slumber. Plus, you got that sweet phone mount for your bike so you don't have shove your phone in your pocket. Use it for map, music, or texting while you ride.

BEAUTY:
 - There have been a couple times last year when you let your hair get really ratchet. I know, you didn't really have money to touch up those gorgeous red locks. So let's try this: schedule a hair appointment every 6-8 weeks. This gives your hair enough time to fade from bright red to that natural orangey-red color that people assume is real, before it goes all "Ooh, sweetie, you need your roots done."
 - You know you're pretty...now dress like it! You're a big girl at your big girl job, so let's look like a professional. No more T-shirt and jeans to the office. Dress nice, but not fancy, to work. This shows that you're not a college graduate searching for a job anymore, but you're not yet the CEO of the company. Plus, you never know who's gonna show up to the office.
 - Remember when you used to be a girly-girl? Ah...those were the days. Let's bring back those girly days and maybe try wearing a dress at least once a week. You always feel so pretty and confident when you wear dresses.
 - You started this in 2013, now let's keep it up: wash your hair every other day, between 24 and 36 hours after the previous wash. When you wash your hair too much or too close together, your red fades, your ends split, and your hair frizzes often. Allowing your hair to "get dirty" gets the natural oils into your scalp for healthier hair.
 - I know this past year has been an up-and-down battle with biting your fingernails and letting them grow out. Please, for the love of God, don't bite your fingernails! Get your nails polished every six weeks, maybe even the same day you get your hair done. Just don't bite your fingernails anymore. You're done with that.

RELATIONSHIPS:
 - You have a beautiful relationship with Matt. Everyone can see it. If it fits your guys' schedule and budget, try to go on a date with Matt once a month. Sometimes life can get busy and it's nice to take some time away from the hectic plans and just spend time together. Go to show, go to a movie, go ice-skating, do something new, try a new restaurant. Just spend some time with that handsome man of yours. You both deserve it.
 - I know it's hard to see your family. Your parents live in Rio Rico, your grandparents and sister live in Gilbert, and your dad and his baby momma live in Chandler. It's difficult to meet with them when you're trying to work and pay bills and go to events that will build your portfolio. See them as much as you can, which can differ month to month, week to week. But always: communicate with them every day. They deserve to know what's going with you, and you to know what's going on with them.
 - Your friends are important to you. You've got a lot of awesome people who care about you. Most of them you only see/talk to on Facebook now. Schedule time to see your friends. Whether it's over coffee or lunch, catch up with those who support you in all that you do.
 - Continuing that last note: remember those awesome game nights you used to host all the time and how awesome they were? Host more events that your friends can come to. Do more game nights, do more mixtape exchanges, do movie nights, do clothing swap parties, do photo shoots, do bike rides, do bible studies.
 - You have a great relationship with Nicki and her growth in the Lord. Keep it up. See Nicki every other week. You guys are both busy (like crazy busy), but you both have some spiritual growing to do, and it's better together.
 - The most important relationship to maintain: God's. Read your Bible every day. If it's not the Bible, then a spiritual guidance book, such as those written by Rob Bell or Donald Miller. You don't go to church anymore, so you need to get your spiritual fuel on your own.

HOBBIES:
 - You are 23 years old and you don't know how to cook. YOU'RE PATHETIC. I'm surprised you've been able to maintain boyfriends for as long as you can without providing delicious meals not from your own kitchen. Learn to cook. I know it scares you: what if I cut myself? What if I burn myself/ What if the food sucks? Don't worry: if you're not failing, then you're not learning. No one said you had to become a gourmet chef, just learn the basics of cooking and make a meal every now and then. You spend way too much eating out anyways. Go grocery shopping and make dinner for yourself.
 - Remember those times your parents wrote you letters? Or when Liam sent you a letter? You got so excited. Write more letters. Send mail to your friends, especially those not in Arizona anymore. There's so much excitement and personal sentiment when you write a letter. Plus, you almost embarrassed yourself at work when you couldn't figure out how to put the stamp on the envelope.
 - You started Mixtape Mandi six months ago and it's been working out really well for you. Continue doing a podcast episode every week like you have been doing, but do more Mixtape Mandi stuff: make more mixes, write more reviews, host more music events. A year from now, I want you to be earning money off of this crazy awesome idea.
 - This one's simple and you'll do it no matter what: keep listening to new music. Go to more shows, buy more albums, meet more bands.
 - This past year kinda sucked when it came to money. Let's fix this: keep a budget. Make a note of when you spend money and get money, put some money away in a savings account, and make sure you pay your bills first before you run off to the record store.
 - You love taking pictures and watching people grow through pictures, so it's time to start your own selfie project. Take a photo of yourself everyday in whatever situation you are at the time. Keep a journal of your photos and post them to your selfie project blog.