I Was Born to Be on Stage

Let me tell you the story of how music has changed my life.

When I was a child, I would watch Disney movies. I would sing all the songs. By four years old, I knew all the words to The Little Mermaid's "Part of Your World". I was constantly singing.
When I was five years old, my dad started a cover band with some of his friends. They called themselves "Tonedef?" and the children were "A Lil' Tonedef?" They played covers of Bob Seger, The Eagles, Tom Petty, and, most importantly, The Beatles. That's where my love for The Beatles started. I would sit and listen to them practice. I would go to their gigs at Famous Sam's on Thursday evenings, even though it was a school night. I learned the lyrics to "Dear Prudence". I learned the lyrics to "Stand By Me".
My first performance that I can remember was one Thursday night at Famous Sam's, my dad's band invited me onstage to sing with them. My dad, the bass player, started playing "Stand By Me". I sang the whole song, word for word. Everyone in the bar cheered for me, maybe because I was so young, but I would hope it was because I sounded good.
When I was six years old, I got my first solo in the church kids' choir for a Christmas Eve service. After that performance, I started getting solos in church, with my dad's band backing me up. Eventually, I remember asking my mom if I could sing "better" songs. The songs the church was assigning for me to sing all contained lyrics like "Thank you Jesus for the sun. Thank you Jesus for the birds, etc." and I wanted more "grownup" songs (as a six-year-old, go figure...) The church not only responded with a no, but also a "if you don't appreciate the songs we give you, you won't sing" kind of thing. So, we left.

I tried doing the kids' choir in school, but really what I was looking for were solos. When I was ten years old, my grandmother had found a community children's choir through the Gilbert Fine Arts Association. I was a part of this choir for three years, singing solos in Disneyland, Universal Studios Hollywood, and various community concerts around Gilbert. However, during my last year I noticed a trend: I stopped getting solos. I would work so hard to memorize melodies and lyrics and sing the best I could in auditions, and the solo would go to a child whose parent donated more money in the choir. Also, one big issue I learned at this young age that would haunt me until I graduated high school: I was not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ for Latter-Day Saints. Being a Mormon meant more solos, more respect as a musician, and more acceptance in my community. After being rejected for my religious beliefs instead of my talent, I left the group.

This experience scarred me from choir for a while. In junior high, I chose to pursue acting instead of singing. I was a member of Advanced Drama, learned the basics of improvisation, was a lead cast member in the school play, and acted on the weekly announcements. I fell in love with the stage in a new way. I was sure that my calling was to be an actress. Then, when eighth grade came, we had to pick a second elective. I chose Advanced Drama and Art as my two electives. Instead of art, they gave me chorus. I was scared to do choir again, since my last encounter. But, I walked in the classroom and sang my heart out. I struggled to learn to read music, but eventually I got it. I learned solfege, breathing technique, proper posture, and how to control my voice. And I did all of this without earning a single friend in that classroom. I mean, I had some girls in that class who were very nice to me. But outside of class, I was not invited to birthday parties. I was not invited to hangout after school. I was not one of them. And I never would be.

When it came time to sign up for classes in high school, we had to choose three electives. I decided to get my P.E. credit done early, so I chose yoga (yes, my school offered yoga for P.E.). I also decided to get my foreign language credit out of the way, so I chose American Sign Language, since I already knew it. Then, I needed to chose my third and final elective: Chorale or Beginning Drama. I struggled back and forth between the two options. Eventually, I chose Chorale. Why? Because the high school choir teacher came to my junior high and touched my life in such a way, that I wanted to learn more. She was intimidating, challenging, and very strict...but passionate. I saw that if anyone was going to believe in my voice, it was going to be her.

My freshmen year of high school was pretty rough. I spent eighteen weeks in Chorale, a mixed male-and-female choir for beginners, mostly freshmen. Mostly Mormon, too. Because I didn't make hardly any friends, I spent my free time studying the music we were singing. I learned to read the music quickly. I stayed after school and practiced. I worked hard to push my voice in different directions. After the Christmas break, my choir teacher called me and another student into her office. She told us that she loved our enthusiasm and determination for music. She wanted to upgrade us to the sophomore girls' choir, Advanced Women's Choir. I was so excited! I asked my mom if I could change my schedule, and she approved. My counselor switched around some classes, and I spent my second semester of freshmen year in a sophomore-level class. Upon joining this class, I was excited. However, after leaving class on the first day, I hated it. The other freshmen girl who joined me made friends instantly. She was pretty, bubbly, and a Mormon girl like most of the girls in the choir. I was not. I had girls verbally tease me and give me dirty looks. Anytime I spoke up to give an answer in class, I felt like the whole class was putting my down in their minds. It was brutal.

After Advanced Women's Choir, the next class up is Concert Choir, the mother of all choirs at Highland High School. This choir was primarily juniors and mostly seniors. You had to audition to be in this choir, but the boys from Chorale would move up to there and the girls from Advanced Women's Choir would move there too. My teacher told both me and the other girl that if there was room for us and if we passed the audition, she would allow us to be members of Concert Choir as sophomores. I studied my music intensely, and I auditioned to be in this choir. Not only did I earn a spot in the choir the next year, but then I found out that the Concert Choir would be performing at Carnegie Hall in New York City that next year.
Basically, I would be performing at Carnegie Hall as a sophomore in a choir only reserved for juniors and seniors. I would be singing at a place so many superstars had performed. At 16 years old. WHOA.

As the only sophomore girl in Concert Choir, no one, and I mean it, NO ONE liked me. Eventually, I made a few friends, but by the end of the year, they hated me (boy drama, that's another story). In order to prepare for Carnegie Hall, I had to raise money to afford plane tickets and hotels and all that tourist-y stuff. I also had to learn Latin out the yin-yang to sing the entire 6-movement Poulenc song, and the forever-long 3-movement Stravinsky piece. it was brutal. BUT, so worth it! My experience at Carnegie Hall was life-changing. I will always remember stepping onto that golden stage, closing my eyes and letting the music take over. It was magical.

My senior year was an exciting time for my choir career. Not only was this my third year in Concert Choir, but it was my second year in Advanced Vocale Ensemble (which specialized in jazz). Senior year Mandi was on fire! I was Alto Section Leader in Cocnert Choir, a member of the All-State Jazz choir, a member of the Central Regional choir, an aide for Chorale, and earned many solos in jazz choir. One of the solos, I will never forget.
March 2009, we performed a jazz-gospel version of "Amazing Grace". This song had three solos: one for a girl in the second verse, one for a boy in the third verse, and one for an improviser at the end. I prided myself in studying jazz improvisation, so I did whatever I could to land that last solo as mine. My teacher assigned it to me and I couldn't have been more ecstatic. This performance was my all-time favorite performance in my jazz choir career. I made my mom and grandparents cry, I made the audience stand to their feet, and I made my decision that that day, and for the rest of my life, I couldn't stop singing.

After high school, my singing career has been kind of non-existent. I sang in an acoustic duo for a couple of years called Painted Faces, but that group is no longer alive. After Painted Faces, I performed in the local Phoenix band called Emby Alexander for about a year before resigning my position a few months ago. My best performance to date was when I covered "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime" with Emby Alexander.

I want to get back on stage. I have a voice that needs to be heard, and I can't do it alone. My passion for singing lies in jazz and blues, but I can sing almost anything. My influences include Adele, Grace Potter, ZZ Ward, Kimbra, Zooey Deschanel, and Black Carl (local Phoenix band). I am looking for a jazz pianist, guitarists, drummer, upright bass player, and possibly some brass and/or saxophone player.




Please help me find musicians to perform with. As much as I want to, I can't perform alone. I need passionate musicians who share the love of jazz and blues as much as I do. I have a message, and I will use my singing voice to reach people. But I need your help.