With 2015 around the corner, I took some time to reflect on all the changes I went through this year: A LOT. My
life has gone through so many ups-and-downs this year, and I am so
excited to see what 2015 is going to throw my way. If I could sum up
2014 in one word, it would be: learn. I have made so many mistakes and have seen so many obstacles, and the biggest and most valuable lessons I have learned this year have been through reflection and forgiveness.
I was going to make a list of all the life events that happened in 2014, both good and bad, that changed me. But, I feel like most of you know what happened, and if you don't, then we will save it for a time when we're sipping on coffee or beer together.
I do want to take this moment to highlight the most important people in my life, who have been there for me when I was too weak to get back up. Whether it was providing me with gas money or a place to rest my head, reading my blog or listening to my mixes, or simply reaching out to see if I was okay, the people below helped me in same way the past year. I would not have been able to survive 2014 without you:
Aaron Rogers // Adam McDorman // Adam Vitcavage // Alec Tucker // Alex Regan // Alli Dodt // Ally Kimes // Anthony Fama // Anthony Gabuzzi // Ashley Abbey // Ashley Taylor // Austin Plott // Autumn Lewis // Aziz Hussein // Becci Jenkins McPherson // Bill Taggart // Blake Mitchem // Bob Roman // Brad Kleeman // Brandee Sullivan // Bret Bender // Brian Clemence // Bryce Clemence // Carolyn Jenkins // Casey Kimes // Chanelle Sinclair // Chelsea Johnston // Chuck Morriss III // Cody Cruse // Colten Samsal // Corey Coole // Corey Gomez // Courtney Marie Andrews // Danie Plott // Danny Torgersen // Danny Zelisko // Dario Miranda // David Kleinebriel // Deb Stelzleni // Derek Cooper // Derek Powell // Devon Adams // Diana Deaver Gudeman // Drew Dunlap // Drew Swaine // Dylan Pratt // Ed Masley // Ellyn Heald // Eryn Wise // Ethan Baxley // Evan Bisbee // Febian Perez // Frankie Carreno // Fred Reyes // Freddie Paull // Gabe Hernandez // Gabe Williams // Gabriel Gonzalez // Georgie Chadwick // Grace Campbell // Hannah Minkner // Hannah Paasch // Hayden Blue // Henri Benard // Henry Lizano // Jacob Johnston // Jaelene Smith // James Johnston // Jared Cox // Jared Kolesar // Jason Shoff // Jem Millett // Jenn Bangerter // Jeremy Berini // Jim Adkins // Joan Price // Jon Lewis // Jon Pesu // Josh Morin // Julz LaMantia // Justin Moody // K.C. Libman // Kenny Mitchell // Kinseyallyn Heath // Kit Pope // Krystal Rose // Laila Baddour // Larry Gast III // Larry Jenkins // Liam Deaver // Luci Davis // Luna Aura // Lydon LaJoie // Madeleine Miller // Maria Padron // Maria Sais de Sicilia // Mariam Neyens // Mario Yniguez // Mark Gabriel // Matt Thompson // Megan Murzyn // Melissa Hawks // Melody Michelle // Mia Sorensen // Michael Carter // Michael Cook // Michelle Traficano // Mick Treadwell // Miles Tippett // Mitchell Hillman // Nate Tucker // Nathaniel Walberer // Nicki Hughes // Noah Stone // Omni Rutledge // Pat Stuckemeyer // Paul Stovall // Perry Czopp // Randall Pettit // Robert Soares // RosaLee Ward // Ryan Heilman // Ryan Kluge // Ryan Scott // Ryne Norman // Sarah Johnston // Sarah Murzyn // Scott Krueger // Sean Harper // Shalome Patrick // Shaunte Glover // Stephen Dunegan // Tayyler Finney // Taylor Tolmachoff // Ted Jachimowicz // Terri Lawson // Tiffany Egbert // Tiff Heath // Tim Mohn // Tobie Rash // Tommy Smith // Travis Alxeander // Travis Tolmachoff // Trevor Hedges // Valerie Moreno // Vivek Tiwary // Willy Johnston
Also, special thanks to all of the people involved with CAPSLOCK MONDAY, the Phoenix music scene, and anyone who has extended a hand in prayer towards me.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
24 Things to Welcome in 24
Spotify Playlist: 24 Things to Look Forward to in 24
1. More hugs
2. Taking care of myself
3. Finding a way to feel at home no matter where I am
4. Travel more
5. Walking away when I need to
6. People who encourage and support me
7. Knowing when to say "no"
8. Knowing when to say "yes"
9. Writing my own stories
10. Earning an income by building playlists
11. A new car
12. Learning to cook
13. Writing more letters
14. Recording more music
15. Getting closer to God
16. Rebuilding a vinyl collection
17. Teaching my baby sister music
18. Feeling loved and appreciated
19. Getting my identity and family patched together
20. Wearing more dresses
21. Being a hub for local music community
22. Taking more pictures
23. Coffee dates with friends
24. Being a person that is so blessed and happy, that I can inspire others to do the same.
1. More hugs
2. Taking care of myself
3. Finding a way to feel at home no matter where I am
4. Travel more
5. Walking away when I need to
6. People who encourage and support me
7. Knowing when to say "no"
8. Knowing when to say "yes"
9. Writing my own stories
10. Earning an income by building playlists
11. A new car
12. Learning to cook
13. Writing more letters
14. Recording more music
15. Getting closer to God
16. Rebuilding a vinyl collection
17. Teaching my baby sister music
18. Feeling loved and appreciated
19. Getting my identity and family patched together
20. Wearing more dresses
21. Being a hub for local music community
22. Taking more pictures
23. Coffee dates with friends
24. Being a person that is so blessed and happy, that I can inspire others to do the same.
23 Things to Leave Behind in 23
Spotify Playlist: 23 Things to Leave Behind in 23
1. Being under the impression that no one likes me
2. Allowing people to handle my finances
3. Matt Klassen
4. Working a customer service job
5. Feeling used or taken advantage of
6. Going to shows alone just to fit in
7. Procrastinating deadlines
8. Treating my car like it's not important
9. Nail biting and face picking
10. Not being compensated for the work I do
11. Living paycheck to paycheck
12. Assuming people read my blog
13. Running away from issues that require immediate attention
14. Selling my possessions for gas money
15. Allowing one person to ruin my day
16. Making promises I can't keep
17. Dealing with personal issues at work
18. Thinking I'm not worthy of anything
19. Showing up late
20. Leaving without saying goodbye
21. Comparing my life to others
22. Feeling pressure to settle down and get married and have kids
23. Pretending everything's okay, when really it's not.
1. Being under the impression that no one likes me
2. Allowing people to handle my finances
3. Matt Klassen
4. Working a customer service job
5. Feeling used or taken advantage of
6. Going to shows alone just to fit in
7. Procrastinating deadlines
8. Treating my car like it's not important
9. Nail biting and face picking
10. Not being compensated for the work I do
11. Living paycheck to paycheck
12. Assuming people read my blog
13. Running away from issues that require immediate attention
14. Selling my possessions for gas money
15. Allowing one person to ruin my day
16. Making promises I can't keep
17. Dealing with personal issues at work
18. Thinking I'm not worthy of anything
19. Showing up late
20. Leaving without saying goodbye
21. Comparing my life to others
22. Feeling pressure to settle down and get married and have kids
23. Pretending everything's okay, when really it's not.
Friday, December 12, 2014
24WARD: Seattle
24WARD: Things to Look Forward to When I'm 24
Part Three: Seattle
Earlier this year, I made the crazy decision to travel to Seattle all by myself with no agenda, no plans to hangout with friends, and no place to stay. While it was completely abrupt and spontaneous, it was one of the best moments of my life, and really opened my eyes to the world outside the hot desert life in Phoenix.
Kinsey and I had begun messaging back and forth and she informed me she would be visiting Arizona for two weeks during the Thanksgiving holiday! I was so excited to meet her and spend so much time with her.
Occasionally, I think of Seattle and yearn to go back and send more time and meet new people. My time there was short, and I want to do some more exploring. I just needed a good excuse to escape again.
Enter Kinsey.
Kinsey is a friend of Freddie's and has been in their friend group since junior high. She moved to Seattle a while ago, and has since kept in close contact with some of her friends, Freddie being one of them. When Freddie and I dated, he kept telling me, "You guys would get along so well. I really hope you can meet her someday soon."
Kinsey and I had begun messaging back and forth and she informed me she would be visiting Arizona for two weeks during the Thanksgiving holiday! I was so excited to meet her and spend so much time with her.
There's no way to describe my relationship with Kinsey. I feel like we are soul sisters; like we were best friends in a past life and when we met, it was like we were catching up right where we left off. We love the same music, have the same sense of humor, think the same. Freddie was right.
As soon as we met, she asked, "So, when are you moving to Seattle?"
I wish it were that easy. I told her if I had a job, I'd consider packing up and living there for a year or so, just to escape the frenzy of Phoenix.
So, until I finally make the decision to move up north, I will visit.
I'm sitting at my laptop, researching flights to Seattle for the third weekend of January. And I could easily afford it, without stress of getting behind. So, I ask my parents, "Should I do it?"
And they told me not to hesitate. Book that flight!
So, it's happening. I will leave for Seattle when I get off work on Friday, January 16th and I will spend all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday there and return home Monday night.
And I will be staying with Kinsey. And we will explore record stores and go to a show and grab some brunch and play in the rain and drink coffee and alcohol and sing Hozier until the cops are called.
And I couldn't be more excited.
Here's to visiting my favorite city to visit my soul sister.
I wish it were that easy. I told her if I had a job, I'd consider packing up and living there for a year or so, just to escape the frenzy of Phoenix.
So, until I finally make the decision to move up north, I will visit.
I'm sitting at my laptop, researching flights to Seattle for the third weekend of January. And I could easily afford it, without stress of getting behind. So, I ask my parents, "Should I do it?"
And they told me not to hesitate. Book that flight!
And I will be staying with Kinsey. And we will explore record stores and go to a show and grab some brunch and play in the rain and drink coffee and alcohol and sing Hozier until the cops are called.
And I couldn't be more excited.
Here's to visiting my favorite city to visit my soul sister.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
24WARD: New Year's Eve
24WARD: Things to Look Forward to When I'm 24
Part Two: New Year's Eve
Believe it or not, I have not had a proper celebration of New Year's.
Since turning twenty-one, which of course makes every celebration twenty-one times better, I have spent New Year's Eve sober, alone, and miserable. Not saying that you need alcohol to or people to celebrate New Year's, but to me, it would make the celebration better.
Here's a recap of the past three New Year's Eve "celebrations"
2011 ---> 2012
I rang in the new year at work.
I was working at a bowling alley (which ended up being the worst job I have ever worked...and I have worked A LOT of jobs) and we were told that we were running a New Year's Eve special that evening and that we were going to be so busy.
We were dead slow.
Instead of sending the people who worked that night and also had to open the next morning (aka ME) home first, they sent home people who had dead sections. Mine had actual people in them. But I didn't care: my friends were out celebrating, and if I even had the chance to leave work early to celebrate with them before hopping into bed to work the next morning, I was going to take it. I didn't leave work until 1:30am. I had to work at 8am the next day. I got home, climbed into bed (wearing my work uniform), rolled out of bed at 7:30am, and went to work my miserable bowling alley waitress job.
2012 ---> 2013
I rang in the new year reading in bed.
Since my previous year was less than satisfactory and my boyfriend was finally twenty-one with me, I had set out to celebrate with him. I had made plans to go bar hopping with him and some friends and stay at a friend's house. It was gonna be great.
Just two days before New Year's, my boyfriend informed me that he and his friend were going to Los Angeles for a few days on a road trip.
"We are leaving the morning of the thirty-first and coming home January second. You wanna come with?"
"I work the evening on January first and a double on the second."
'Oh bummer, well have fun on New Year's."
"I work the evening on January first and a double on the second."
'Oh bummer, well have fun on New Year's."
Well, now that my plans were ruined and I wasn't invited to any New Year's parties, I grabbed some dinner at IHOP then went home and read a book while I lay in bed.
2013 ---> 2014
I rang in the new year crying in bed.
I was determined. I was going to make this New Year's better.
I had a different boyfriend. We had plans to spend it at a friend's house. It was going to be great.
Until I was scheduled 5pm-10pm on New Year's Eve and then 8am-3pm the next day.
I told my boyfriend about the work predicament and how I could come hang out after work for a couple hours before going home to bed.
"Oh, sweetie...actually this is a guy's night. You're not invited."
That's fine. I didn't wanna hang out with you on New Year's.
It turns out that on New Year's Eve, someone called out and I had to go in early. I ended up working 10am-10pm New Year's Eve, and I was so completely exhausted and new I had to work the next morning, that I went home and crawled into bed.
The entire night, my boyfriend would send me texts about how much fun he was having and how much he missed me and other pointless bullshit.
So, you can imagine my dread for this year's New Year's Eve. I almost decided to give up, because apparently I'm not meant to clink a champagne glass against my friends' glasses and drink bubbles with them. I'm not meant to sing "Auld Lang Syne" obnoxiously when the ball drops. I'm not meant to kiss the lips of someone I love when the clock strikes midnight. It's not in the cards for me.
Yesterday morning, I woke up and checked my email and Facebook notifications from the past few hours of slumber. I received a Facebook event invitation from Freddie inviting me to a New Year's Party with all his friends to his cabin.
I immediately grew with excitement. Finally! I get to go to a New Year's Party with friends and drink champagne and wine and spend the evening in a cabin away from work.
Here's to looking forward to ringing in the new year of my dreams.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
24WARD: My 24th Birthday
24WARD: Things to Look Forward to When I'm 24
Part One: My Twenty-Fourth Birthday
Between moving twice, being broken up with twice, paying rent late multiple times, losing contact with some people, and my identity being stolen, I've about had it with being 23.
Since my 23rd birthday, the anthem of the year has been "Nobody likes you when you're 23." (thanks Blink-182).
Which is why I have been looking forward to my 24th birthday for about seven months now.
With my birthday being seventeen days away, the anticipation and excitement is starting to kick in. I've never been more ready to leave behind the past and start over than now.
Having a birthday the day after Christmas has its major downfalls.
Here is what I hear on a yearly basis:
"I'm outta town." "I have family in town." "My parents want me home with the family." "You're a Christmas baby!" "Does it suck being born near Christmas!" "Happy birthday! I hope you don't mind I combined your Christmas and birthday present into one." "Can we celebrate in January?"
*sigh*
Your birthday is the one day each year where you have the right to feel special. When you can say "Hey, look at me! I survived another year of existence! Now bow down and worship me and shower me with love!" But people don't do that. And I want people to shower me with love. Especially since this past year I've seen less love than ever.
So, if you're reading this and want to do something special for my birthday, here is my one wish:
Make me a mix.
On tape. On CD. On Spotify. On Dropbox.
Make me a mix of whatever you want, and I would love to listen to your mix.
That's it.
Here's to looking forward to being twenty-four!
Sunday, December 7, 2014
January Now: Part Two
In preparation for the new year, I'm getting some new years resolutions ready now.
- Write more letters
I started this one early in the year last year, but no one wrote me back. So, I'm gonna try again. I love writing letters, but I love receiving letters more than anything. I like to include little surprises in the envelopes, like stickers or flyers or even a mix. So, if you want me to write you letters - whether you live in Arizona or out of the state - send me your address and I promise to write you.
- Wear more dresses
I have noticed that people love when I wear dresses: they notice me more, they compliment me, they are nicer to me. I have also noticed that I feel more important when I'm wearing a dress instead of my usual jeans and a tee-shirt. I have always loved the style of Zooey Deschanel, dress-wearing goddess, and noticed that it doesn't always have to be a glamorous event for me to pull one out of my closet.
- Participate in yoga
I used to do yoga when I was in high school and absolutely loved it. It was such a relief that for an hour I could forget about drama with school, work, boys, family, and the stresses of life and just stretch and breathe and let go. I know there's so many yoga studios in Phoenix, but I have only found expensive ones and want to do something cheaper and more personal, like maybe yoga in the park or with friends.
- Go to more local shows
I lost my sight of Mixtape Mandi a few months ago, and I haven't been as in-tune with the local scene as I could be. This Saturday, I'm taking my sixteen-year-old stepbrother to a local show to introduce him to the scene. I want to support locals, because they mean so much to me, so I am going to go to more local shows.
- Write more letters
I started this one early in the year last year, but no one wrote me back. So, I'm gonna try again. I love writing letters, but I love receiving letters more than anything. I like to include little surprises in the envelopes, like stickers or flyers or even a mix. So, if you want me to write you letters - whether you live in Arizona or out of the state - send me your address and I promise to write you.
- Wear more dresses
I have noticed that people love when I wear dresses: they notice me more, they compliment me, they are nicer to me. I have also noticed that I feel more important when I'm wearing a dress instead of my usual jeans and a tee-shirt. I have always loved the style of Zooey Deschanel, dress-wearing goddess, and noticed that it doesn't always have to be a glamorous event for me to pull one out of my closet.
- Participate in yoga
I used to do yoga when I was in high school and absolutely loved it. It was such a relief that for an hour I could forget about drama with school, work, boys, family, and the stresses of life and just stretch and breathe and let go. I know there's so many yoga studios in Phoenix, but I have only found expensive ones and want to do something cheaper and more personal, like maybe yoga in the park or with friends.
- Go to more local shows
I lost my sight of Mixtape Mandi a few months ago, and I haven't been as in-tune with the local scene as I could be. This Saturday, I'm taking my sixteen-year-old stepbrother to a local show to introduce him to the scene. I want to support locals, because they mean so much to me, so I am going to go to more local shows.
Monday, December 1, 2014
January Now: Part One
I have had to do a lot of learning and growing up to do in the past few months. This past weekend was when it all came crashing down on me. I had the most fun I have had in a long time, had some re-evaluating to do about the people in my life, went through the most drunken night (and most wicked hangover) I have had in a long time, and cried and laughed and sang my whole way through.
Now, I know it's not January yet, but sometimes resolutions can't wait, y'know? I needed to start changing some things in my life now. Other things...yeah, those can wait another month.
- Only drink alcohol on the weekends
The past few weeks, I have been drinking almost every night. Sometimes I would go out with friends and drink a lot. Sometimes, after chugging water and eating, I would drive home (which did NOT make it okay to drive home under the influence.) I have had people mocking my drinking habits, saying they think I need to slow down, and expressing concern for my health.
It wasn't until I got plastered drunk at a party on Saturday that I realized that I really do need to slow down. The events leading up to the party were stressing me out, and I had a less-than-great day with the family earlier, so I had made it my plan to drink as much as I could that night. I had six vodka-cranberries that night (two is my limit to be okay/tipsy, three makes me drunk) and I was giggling and talking with friends and having so much fun.
This is the part where I give a standing ovation applause to the person who took care of me and helped me survive: Freddie. Even though our dating relationship ended, you have been a strong supporter and best friend to me. This man carried me up the stairs to bed, gave me three glasses of water, and stroked my hair while I drunk cried to him about how sad my life was. He deserves gold stars a-plenty.
The next day, he helped nurse my hangover and told me about the prior evening. He also told me, "Mandi, you need to slow down. You can't keep using alcohol as a way to deal with pain. You're gonna hurt yourself even more." And he's right. Freddie's not always gonna be there to take care of me when I'm too drunk to walk. I need to look out for myself.
- Hang out with friends more
I have found that when I'm in a room with people I love and care about and in return love and care about me, I open up. This shy, introverted music freak lets go and converses about other people's dreams, their aspirations, why they are where they are.
It's nights when I stay home that I feel sad. Not because I don't like my home, but because I lack the excitement and elevated human interaction. At home, I relax, I decompress, I recharge. But I have found lately that I have had too much "me time", which is weird since normally I don't get even "me time". I need more "people time". I need more nights out with friends, nights out at concerts, coffee dates, road trips, and brunch dates.
When I think I need more alone time again, I will back off. But for now, bring me my friends.
- Start cooking more
This past holiday weekend, I helped my stepmom prepare some of the Thanksgiving meal: brownies, chocolate pudding pie, and mashed potatoes. The entire time I was under her instruction and supervision, but honestly, that's how I'd rather learn to cook.
When I told Jaelene I was going to two parties on Saturday and was gonna buy pie, she said "No you're not. You're making pies." So, we went to the store and bought the ingredients, then came home and peeled and cut six pounds of apples (eighteen apples, to be exact), then cooked the apple slices in lemon juice and sugar to form a caramelized sauce mixed with cinnamon and nutmeg. Then, we put the pie crust in a bowl, mixed the apples and sauce and put that in the pie crust, then folded the second pie crust over top, and baked it.
Everyone who ate my pies said they loved it, and it gave me so much gratification accomplishing something outside of music. With music, I have this notion that no matter I achieve I will accomplish, so the end reward isn't as grand as trying something new and being scared shitless you're gonna kill someone with your cooking, when in fact they like it.
- Travel more
After travelling to Seattle earlier this year, I really got the itch to travel more. And after working endlessly day-in and day-out, I have fried my brain to the point of needing a break. So, for winter break (in which I have two weeks off) I am playing an in-state road trip. Not sure where yet, or what days, or what friends I will drag with me. But I need to go.
Out of state though, I want to see more. I have the urge to discover new things and meet new people and discover new music elsewhere.
I want to visit Austin, Texas in March for SXSW festival.
I want to visit London and walk across Abbey Road and see all the sights that the Beatles talk about in their songs.
I want to visit Nashville and see the blues and rock-n-roll scene there.
I want to go to New York City and really enjoy the city life this time (last time I went was a school trip for a prestigious choral festival AKA being stuck in day-long rehearsals).
I want to visit Portland and relive the Portlandia skits.
I want to visit Toronto and discover the Canadian music scene and the inspiration behind Scott Pilgrim.
I want to revisit Vancouver.
I want to revisit my aunt in Orlando.
I want to revisit Seattle, and spend time with all the friends I have there and discover more of the city that I didn't get to last time.
My goal is to plan more getaways in 2015, so I don't feel trapped anymore.
- Start Taking Care of Your Body: Skin & Fingernails
I have been struggling with biting my fingernails for twenty-three years. This struggle has also spread into what is called excoriation disease (or dermatillomania, as it's otherwise known) where people who suffer with this pick their skin, often as a side effect of OCD or abuse. I have not been physically abused, but I pick my skin as a weird form of OCD. I have realized the harm I cause my body where I bite/pick at it, so I had acrylic nails put on to allow my fingernails to grow. This allows me to stop picking at my face as well. My dear friend Autumn has agree to help look for makeup that will help my skin, as well as I am inquiring my therapist about medicine to resist the urge to pick.
Now, I know it's not January yet, but sometimes resolutions can't wait, y'know? I needed to start changing some things in my life now. Other things...yeah, those can wait another month.
The past few weeks, I have been drinking almost every night. Sometimes I would go out with friends and drink a lot. Sometimes, after chugging water and eating, I would drive home (which did NOT make it okay to drive home under the influence.) I have had people mocking my drinking habits, saying they think I need to slow down, and expressing concern for my health.
It wasn't until I got plastered drunk at a party on Saturday that I realized that I really do need to slow down. The events leading up to the party were stressing me out, and I had a less-than-great day with the family earlier, so I had made it my plan to drink as much as I could that night. I had six vodka-cranberries that night (two is my limit to be okay/tipsy, three makes me drunk) and I was giggling and talking with friends and having so much fun.
This is the part where I give a standing ovation applause to the person who took care of me and helped me survive: Freddie. Even though our dating relationship ended, you have been a strong supporter and best friend to me. This man carried me up the stairs to bed, gave me three glasses of water, and stroked my hair while I drunk cried to him about how sad my life was. He deserves gold stars a-plenty.
The next day, he helped nurse my hangover and told me about the prior evening. He also told me, "Mandi, you need to slow down. You can't keep using alcohol as a way to deal with pain. You're gonna hurt yourself even more." And he's right. Freddie's not always gonna be there to take care of me when I'm too drunk to walk. I need to look out for myself.
I have found that when I'm in a room with people I love and care about and in return love and care about me, I open up. This shy, introverted music freak lets go and converses about other people's dreams, their aspirations, why they are where they are.
It's nights when I stay home that I feel sad. Not because I don't like my home, but because I lack the excitement and elevated human interaction. At home, I relax, I decompress, I recharge. But I have found lately that I have had too much "me time", which is weird since normally I don't get even "me time". I need more "people time". I need more nights out with friends, nights out at concerts, coffee dates, road trips, and brunch dates.
When I think I need more alone time again, I will back off. But for now, bring me my friends.
This past holiday weekend, I helped my stepmom prepare some of the Thanksgiving meal: brownies, chocolate pudding pie, and mashed potatoes. The entire time I was under her instruction and supervision, but honestly, that's how I'd rather learn to cook.
When I told Jaelene I was going to two parties on Saturday and was gonna buy pie, she said "No you're not. You're making pies." So, we went to the store and bought the ingredients, then came home and peeled and cut six pounds of apples (eighteen apples, to be exact), then cooked the apple slices in lemon juice and sugar to form a caramelized sauce mixed with cinnamon and nutmeg. Then, we put the pie crust in a bowl, mixed the apples and sauce and put that in the pie crust, then folded the second pie crust over top, and baked it.
Everyone who ate my pies said they loved it, and it gave me so much gratification accomplishing something outside of music. With music, I have this notion that no matter I achieve I will accomplish, so the end reward isn't as grand as trying something new and being scared shitless you're gonna kill someone with your cooking, when in fact they like it.
- Travel more
Out of state though, I want to see more. I have the urge to discover new things and meet new people and discover new music elsewhere.
I want to visit Austin, Texas in March for SXSW festival.
I want to visit London and walk across Abbey Road and see all the sights that the Beatles talk about in their songs.
I want to visit Nashville and see the blues and rock-n-roll scene there.
I want to go to New York City and really enjoy the city life this time (last time I went was a school trip for a prestigious choral festival AKA being stuck in day-long rehearsals).
I want to visit Portland and relive the Portlandia skits.
I want to visit Toronto and discover the Canadian music scene and the inspiration behind Scott Pilgrim.
I want to revisit Vancouver.
I want to revisit my aunt in Orlando.
I want to revisit Seattle, and spend time with all the friends I have there and discover more of the city that I didn't get to last time.
My goal is to plan more getaways in 2015, so I don't feel trapped anymore.
I have been struggling with biting my fingernails for twenty-three years. This struggle has also spread into what is called excoriation disease (or dermatillomania, as it's otherwise known) where people who suffer with this pick their skin, often as a side effect of OCD or abuse. I have not been physically abused, but I pick my skin as a weird form of OCD. I have realized the harm I cause my body where I bite/pick at it, so I had acrylic nails put on to allow my fingernails to grow. This allows me to stop picking at my face as well. My dear friend Autumn has agree to help look for makeup that will help my skin, as well as I am inquiring my therapist about medicine to resist the urge to pick.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
With a Little Help From the Beatles
I write this post with tears streaming down my face with the same feeling I have every so often: alone.
Lately, life has been really mean to me. After having my identity stolen and dealing with some issues at work, I've been pretty unhappy. And, to top it off, I'm currently going through breakup #3 over the past two years.
This breakup was more probably the most sad. The breakup Austin was mutual more or less or very frustrating. The breakup with Matt left me confused and angry.
But this breakup with Freddie was sad. Because we wanted to be together. We deeply cared about each other. We got along intellectually, emotionally, musically. We could be professional and silly at the right times. We were each other's best friend.
I love him. He doesn't love me.
Through any tough time, friends near and far will reach out:
"If you need anything, I'm here for you."
"If you need to talk, I'm here for you."
"If you want to grab coffee or a drink, I'm here for you."
I'm here for you.
Today was an especially tough day.
I was a bit blown off last night, woke up feeling terrible, had some issues at work that required me to take a step back and re-evaluate my job. I cried in the shower this morning, I cried in the car on the way to work, on the way to lunch, on the way back to work, and in the car after work.
It's hard for me to reach out and talk to people because of the betrayal and mistrust I've dealt with in the past. With friends leaving constantly, boys feeding me lies, and my identity being stolen, I find it hard to fully open myself up to people and expose my strengths and weaknesses.
(Lucky you, reader.)
That being said, I have a tight group of people I feel I can talk to. I can call them, crying, asking for help or a place to stay or whatever.
Today, I reached out to people who told they would be there for me.
They were all too busy to be there for me.
I sat in the parking lot of a Barnes & Noble crying hysterically, speaking my thoughts and feelings to no one (or God, if he was listening) and it made me really sad.
I drove off. I turned on some music. I flipped my iPod to the only thing that NEVER fails me.
Music. More importantly, The Beatles.
People often question my love of the Beatles. They don't understand that I don't just like their songs; they were ingrained in me as a child and live on in me today. Their lyrics speak to me more clear than any Bible verse. They were the only people who were ever always there.
Through every breakup, bad day at school or work, argument with my parents, I turned on the Beatles. Or, as John sings in "Tomorrow Never Knows": "Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream."
When I'm driving and feeling emotional, I always turn to the same song. My number one favorite of all time. No other song in the history of all the songs I have ever listened to can out-rank this song. Because it teaches me to take a sad song and make it better. It also allows me to scream at the top of my lungs and let out all the bullshit while singing "Na-na-na-na!"
The week I found out about my identity crisis, I had plans to see Paul McCartney live. I almost didn't go, because I was feeling depressed and was too sad to leave my house. But, everyone who knew told me "Get outta the house. You'd be crazy not to go to the concert!" They were right.
I trekked down to the venue, sat in a stadium of 15,000 Beatles fans, and witnessed the best concert of my life (and I've been to A LOT of concerts).
When Paul sat placed himself behind the piano and sang "Heeeeey...Jude..." I lost it.
All the emotions I was holding inside released out of my body.
I sang along and screamed and yelled with the audience. I cried. I took a selfie because I didn't wanna forget that moment.
It was then that I realized why I was there. My life had turned to shit to the point where I didn't wanna leave my home. But I left my home for music. For Paul. For "Hey Jude". For the Beatles.
As far as my identity being stolen, I have to let it be, just as Mother Mary said.
As far as Freddie not loving, I can wait as long as I can possibly wait for him to love, but in the words of George: "You're asking me will my love grow? I don't know...I don't know. If you stick around, then it may show. But, I don't know...I don't know."
As far as little life annoyances, I have to shrug and mutter "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on!"
When life pushes me down and I feel like I can't get up, I need to take these broken wings and learn to fly.
And in situations where I feel alone and like no one gives a shit to listen to my problems or let my cry on their shoulder, I have learned to get by with a little help from my friends who are John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Lately, life has been really mean to me. After having my identity stolen and dealing with some issues at work, I've been pretty unhappy. And, to top it off, I'm currently going through breakup #3 over the past two years.
This breakup was more probably the most sad. The breakup Austin was mutual more or less or very frustrating. The breakup with Matt left me confused and angry.
But this breakup with Freddie was sad. Because we wanted to be together. We deeply cared about each other. We got along intellectually, emotionally, musically. We could be professional and silly at the right times. We were each other's best friend.
I love him. He doesn't love me.
Through any tough time, friends near and far will reach out:
"If you need anything, I'm here for you."
"If you need to talk, I'm here for you."
"If you want to grab coffee or a drink, I'm here for you."
I'm here for you.
Today was an especially tough day.
I was a bit blown off last night, woke up feeling terrible, had some issues at work that required me to take a step back and re-evaluate my job. I cried in the shower this morning, I cried in the car on the way to work, on the way to lunch, on the way back to work, and in the car after work.
It's hard for me to reach out and talk to people because of the betrayal and mistrust I've dealt with in the past. With friends leaving constantly, boys feeding me lies, and my identity being stolen, I find it hard to fully open myself up to people and expose my strengths and weaknesses.
(Lucky you, reader.)
That being said, I have a tight group of people I feel I can talk to. I can call them, crying, asking for help or a place to stay or whatever.
Today, I reached out to people who told they would be there for me.
They were all too busy to be there for me.
I sat in the parking lot of a Barnes & Noble crying hysterically, speaking my thoughts and feelings to no one (or God, if he was listening) and it made me really sad.
I drove off. I turned on some music. I flipped my iPod to the only thing that NEVER fails me.Music. More importantly, The Beatles.
People often question my love of the Beatles. They don't understand that I don't just like their songs; they were ingrained in me as a child and live on in me today. Their lyrics speak to me more clear than any Bible verse. They were the only people who were ever always there.
Through every breakup, bad day at school or work, argument with my parents, I turned on the Beatles. Or, as John sings in "Tomorrow Never Knows": "Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream."
When I'm driving and feeling emotional, I always turn to the same song. My number one favorite of all time. No other song in the history of all the songs I have ever listened to can out-rank this song. Because it teaches me to take a sad song and make it better. It also allows me to scream at the top of my lungs and let out all the bullshit while singing "Na-na-na-na!"
The week I found out about my identity crisis, I had plans to see Paul McCartney live. I almost didn't go, because I was feeling depressed and was too sad to leave my house. But, everyone who knew told me "Get outta the house. You'd be crazy not to go to the concert!" They were right.
I trekked down to the venue, sat in a stadium of 15,000 Beatles fans, and witnessed the best concert of my life (and I've been to A LOT of concerts).When Paul sat placed himself behind the piano and sang "Heeeeey...Jude..." I lost it.
All the emotions I was holding inside released out of my body.
I sang along and screamed and yelled with the audience. I cried. I took a selfie because I didn't wanna forget that moment.
It was then that I realized why I was there. My life had turned to shit to the point where I didn't wanna leave my home. But I left my home for music. For Paul. For "Hey Jude". For the Beatles.
As far as my identity being stolen, I have to let it be, just as Mother Mary said.
As far as Freddie not loving, I can wait as long as I can possibly wait for him to love, but in the words of George: "You're asking me will my love grow? I don't know...I don't know. If you stick around, then it may show. But, I don't know...I don't know."
As far as little life annoyances, I have to shrug and mutter "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on!"
When life pushes me down and I feel like I can't get up, I need to take these broken wings and learn to fly.
And in situations where I feel alone and like no one gives a shit to listen to my problems or let my cry on their shoulder, I have learned to get by with a little help from my friends who are John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Singin' the Blues
I'm not doing okay today.
I've been really struggling over the past few weeks. Struggling in different areas in my life.
After typing out each of my struggles into the following categories, I have come to a realization I have been afraid to confront: I am depressed.
It's hard for me to sleep, and when I do sleep I have nightmares of ghosts that haunt me. I barely eat, and it's hard for me to finish a meal. I am skipping out on concerts and plans with friends because I don't want to face people. The idea of being around large groups of people suddenly frighten me.
I don't like this. I don't want to be this person anymore.
To accurately express my fear and sadness, I have opened myself up to you, the people of the internet. Here's my heart, my mind, my soul, my emotions: all of me.
The first step towards healing is recognizing the hurt.
FAMILY
Since the person who stole my identity is someone in my family, it's been really tense. Talking to certain members of my family has been tough because it feels like people are starting to take sides. It's not about taking sides; it's about working together to fix our issue and move forward in erasing the debt, both financially and emotionally. However, the other person isn't willing to work with me and it's killing me.
I am especially not looking forward to the holidays. This person has expressed to me that they are not coming to family Thanksgiving dinner, which leads me to be concerned for Christmas and my birthday (December 26th). As much frustration as this person has caused me, I don't think they should spend the holidays away from the family. I don't want this person to continuously run away from the issue. And the holidays are going to be especially difficult without them there.
THE HOLIDAYS
I would just really not like to do the holidays, which makes me really sad because this is my favorite time of the year with Christmas and my birthday and the New Year and cold weather and starting over and everyone coming together. But lately, I've lost that.
I used to love my birthday. It's a very unique day, I always had the day off from school, it was right around Christmas so everyone was in a good mood. It was around high school that I really started to dislike my birthday. I'd have to rearrange days for my party because my friends would either be out of town or they'd have family in town or still had some holiday events going on. My birthday was always celebrated in January when school let back in.
My family always did a good job differentiating the days: we celebrated Christmas on the 24th or 25th and I opened Christmas presents, then on the 26th we celebrated my birthday and I opened birthday presents. My friends, not so much. Sometimes I would get combined presents: ""here's your Christmas/Birthday present". Or a Christmas card with "Happy birthday!" written in it or vice versa. Or a birthday present wrapped in Christmas wrapping.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but it's bullshit. My birthday is NOT Christmas, so don't treat it like it's an inconvenience for you. It's been an inconvenience for me for almost 24 years now.
I have now gotten to the point where I do not look forward to my birthday. Plans always get cancelled, people always bail, and I'm left celebrating alone. Since 23 has been the shittiest year for me, I want to end with a bang to welcome 24 with open arms. All I ask is that I'm surrounded by love and people who will be there to celebrate me. I get one day a year, and I hate to get to this level of diva, but I feel like I deserve it.
You know who you know when you've transitioned into adulthood? When you no longer look forward to the holiday season. I am an adult and I hate it and I wanna go back to liking the holidays and my birthday again.
HOME
I live in Chandler with my dad and stepmom and baby sister and three boys. Talk about culture shock. It's a huge adjustment going from living on my own in the city to living with a bustling family in the suburbs. My baby sister has her own set schedule of crying, eating, pooping, needing attention, etc. and my step brothers are messy and loud and don't know what it's like to live with a girl (toilet seats don't go up, clothes don't always end up in the hamper, etc.) I know it's how preteen boys live, but I've never lived in that environment, so it's a huge adjustment.
My parents have been more than great to me. I have moved in with them while I try to get my shit together, and they have been a huge blessing to me. I wish I could spend more time with them. But work and concerts and meetings get in the way.
And because I work a lot of shows in Phoenix and work in the office the next morning in Paradise Valley, occasionally I will stay with my boyfriend to save gas and spend time with him. Sometimes, I end up staying for a few nights in a row, and don't go home until I run outta clothes or need to do laundry or have overstayed my welcome and need some family time.
I basically live in a suitcase. I'm constantly packing my bag and heading to Phoenix. When I'm home, I try to put together my room and make it my own space, but it's so hard when I'm barely home. That, and I don't wanna make myself too comfortable if I don't plan to be in their home for a long time.
I have constantly lived my life in boxes. I have lived in a total of eighteen homes now, so I have not been able to allow myself to get comfortable. I just want to find a place where I feel at home, where my records are playing and my clothes are hung up and my food is in the fridge and I rest my head at night. Hopefully one day I can find my home.
RELATIONSHIP
Even though my relationship with my boyfriend has been struggling a bit lately, I have to give him kudos: he has stuck by myself for the past three months and has carried me through the storms. He has driven me to work when my car has broken down, pulled a bee stinger out of my finger when I got stung, allowed me to cry on his shoulder when I wanna run away and hide, and has supported me in everything I have done with my crazy life.
That being said, he is an extremely busy person too. He owns and operates his own video production business, so it's a lot of pre-production, filming, editing, post-production, etc. When we both get into business mode, we tend to cut each other short. We've also struggled with where we are at in our relationship, being that we have now dated for three months and it's approaching a stressful time of the year and we're launching a new project in January (super excited...that's all I'm going to say).
He's so sweet to me and treats me like a special lady. And I look forward to where our relationship can grow from here.
WORK
My one-year anniversary of working with this company is approaching, and it's so surreal. A year ago, I was a college graduate looking for a job while slaving away at restaurants. Now, I'm a full-time social media and marketing coordinator for a concert promotion company and I love it.
Having been here for a year, I have been given a lot of tasks and have taken on a lot of responsibility. Just because I love my job doesn't mean it's not work. It's definitely work. I have deadlines, meetings, people to work with that require some patience. There are some days I look at the busy day ahead of me and consider staying in bed. But, if I didn't have a busy life, I'd be bored. A busy life is one that I thrive for.
SPIRITUAL
I haven't been to church in three years. I cannot fathom the idea of going back. But I have fallen short in my relationship with God. I can't bring myself to surround myself with Christians because of the dark past I have had in church. Maybe one day I can learn to see the light again, but for now, I will privately worship and adore my Father.
I hope one day I can feel better again.
I've been really struggling over the past few weeks. Struggling in different areas in my life.
After typing out each of my struggles into the following categories, I have come to a realization I have been afraid to confront: I am depressed.
It's hard for me to sleep, and when I do sleep I have nightmares of ghosts that haunt me. I barely eat, and it's hard for me to finish a meal. I am skipping out on concerts and plans with friends because I don't want to face people. The idea of being around large groups of people suddenly frighten me.
I don't like this. I don't want to be this person anymore.
To accurately express my fear and sadness, I have opened myself up to you, the people of the internet. Here's my heart, my mind, my soul, my emotions: all of me.
The first step towards healing is recognizing the hurt.
FAMILY
Since the person who stole my identity is someone in my family, it's been really tense. Talking to certain members of my family has been tough because it feels like people are starting to take sides. It's not about taking sides; it's about working together to fix our issue and move forward in erasing the debt, both financially and emotionally. However, the other person isn't willing to work with me and it's killing me.
I am especially not looking forward to the holidays. This person has expressed to me that they are not coming to family Thanksgiving dinner, which leads me to be concerned for Christmas and my birthday (December 26th). As much frustration as this person has caused me, I don't think they should spend the holidays away from the family. I don't want this person to continuously run away from the issue. And the holidays are going to be especially difficult without them there.
THE HOLIDAYS
I would just really not like to do the holidays, which makes me really sad because this is my favorite time of the year with Christmas and my birthday and the New Year and cold weather and starting over and everyone coming together. But lately, I've lost that.
I used to love my birthday. It's a very unique day, I always had the day off from school, it was right around Christmas so everyone was in a good mood. It was around high school that I really started to dislike my birthday. I'd have to rearrange days for my party because my friends would either be out of town or they'd have family in town or still had some holiday events going on. My birthday was always celebrated in January when school let back in.
My family always did a good job differentiating the days: we celebrated Christmas on the 24th or 25th and I opened Christmas presents, then on the 26th we celebrated my birthday and I opened birthday presents. My friends, not so much. Sometimes I would get combined presents: ""here's your Christmas/Birthday present". Or a Christmas card with "Happy birthday!" written in it or vice versa. Or a birthday present wrapped in Christmas wrapping.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but it's bullshit. My birthday is NOT Christmas, so don't treat it like it's an inconvenience for you. It's been an inconvenience for me for almost 24 years now.
I have now gotten to the point where I do not look forward to my birthday. Plans always get cancelled, people always bail, and I'm left celebrating alone. Since 23 has been the shittiest year for me, I want to end with a bang to welcome 24 with open arms. All I ask is that I'm surrounded by love and people who will be there to celebrate me. I get one day a year, and I hate to get to this level of diva, but I feel like I deserve it.
You know who you know when you've transitioned into adulthood? When you no longer look forward to the holiday season. I am an adult and I hate it and I wanna go back to liking the holidays and my birthday again.
HOME
I live in Chandler with my dad and stepmom and baby sister and three boys. Talk about culture shock. It's a huge adjustment going from living on my own in the city to living with a bustling family in the suburbs. My baby sister has her own set schedule of crying, eating, pooping, needing attention, etc. and my step brothers are messy and loud and don't know what it's like to live with a girl (toilet seats don't go up, clothes don't always end up in the hamper, etc.) I know it's how preteen boys live, but I've never lived in that environment, so it's a huge adjustment.
My parents have been more than great to me. I have moved in with them while I try to get my shit together, and they have been a huge blessing to me. I wish I could spend more time with them. But work and concerts and meetings get in the way.
And because I work a lot of shows in Phoenix and work in the office the next morning in Paradise Valley, occasionally I will stay with my boyfriend to save gas and spend time with him. Sometimes, I end up staying for a few nights in a row, and don't go home until I run outta clothes or need to do laundry or have overstayed my welcome and need some family time.
I basically live in a suitcase. I'm constantly packing my bag and heading to Phoenix. When I'm home, I try to put together my room and make it my own space, but it's so hard when I'm barely home. That, and I don't wanna make myself too comfortable if I don't plan to be in their home for a long time.
I have constantly lived my life in boxes. I have lived in a total of eighteen homes now, so I have not been able to allow myself to get comfortable. I just want to find a place where I feel at home, where my records are playing and my clothes are hung up and my food is in the fridge and I rest my head at night. Hopefully one day I can find my home.
RELATIONSHIP
Even though my relationship with my boyfriend has been struggling a bit lately, I have to give him kudos: he has stuck by myself for the past three months and has carried me through the storms. He has driven me to work when my car has broken down, pulled a bee stinger out of my finger when I got stung, allowed me to cry on his shoulder when I wanna run away and hide, and has supported me in everything I have done with my crazy life.
That being said, he is an extremely busy person too. He owns and operates his own video production business, so it's a lot of pre-production, filming, editing, post-production, etc. When we both get into business mode, we tend to cut each other short. We've also struggled with where we are at in our relationship, being that we have now dated for three months and it's approaching a stressful time of the year and we're launching a new project in January (super excited...that's all I'm going to say).
He's so sweet to me and treats me like a special lady. And I look forward to where our relationship can grow from here.
WORK
My one-year anniversary of working with this company is approaching, and it's so surreal. A year ago, I was a college graduate looking for a job while slaving away at restaurants. Now, I'm a full-time social media and marketing coordinator for a concert promotion company and I love it.
Having been here for a year, I have been given a lot of tasks and have taken on a lot of responsibility. Just because I love my job doesn't mean it's not work. It's definitely work. I have deadlines, meetings, people to work with that require some patience. There are some days I look at the busy day ahead of me and consider staying in bed. But, if I didn't have a busy life, I'd be bored. A busy life is one that I thrive for.
SPIRITUAL
I haven't been to church in three years. I cannot fathom the idea of going back. But I have fallen short in my relationship with God. I can't bring myself to surround myself with Christians because of the dark past I have had in church. Maybe one day I can learn to see the light again, but for now, I will privately worship and adore my Father.
I hope one day I can feel better again.
Monday, October 13, 2014
CHRISTMIRTHDAY
Below are the items listed on my Christmas/Birthday list for this season.
$ - Less than $20
$$ - $20 - $50
$$$ - $50-$100
$$$$ - More than $100
*** - NEW ITEM
MEMBERSHIPS
Vinyl Me Please
Yoga (location undetermined)
Both windshields on my car replaced
Eaux Claires presale tickets ***
BOOKS
$ "The Imaginary World of..." by Keri Smith ***
$ "The Little Book of Yoga" by Nora Isaacs ***
$ "Living in the Moment" by Anna Black ***
$ "Show Your Work" by Austin Kleon ***
$$ Scout books ***
$$ Scout DIY Calendar book ***
$$$ "360 Sound" by Sean Wilentz ***
$ "1 Page at a Time" by Adam J. Kurtz
$ "Be the Change" by Anneke Campbell & Thomas Linzey
$ "Chasers of the Light" by Tyler Knott Gregson
$ "Do Less" by Rachel Jonat
$ "Do: Disrupt" by Mark Shayler
$ "Do: Story" by Bobette Buster
$ "Eat Pretty" by Jolene Hart
$ "Girl Talk" by Christie Young
$ "How Music Works" by David Byrne
$ "How to Change the World" by John-Paul Flintoff
$ "How to Stay Sane" by Philippa Perry
$ "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric
$ "It Seems Impossible Until It's Done" by Kathryn & Ross Petras
$ Open book
$ Ticket Stub diary
$$ "Bon Iver" by Mark Beaumont
$$ "For the Record" by Many Ameri & Torsten Schmidt
$$ "Late Century Dream" by Tom Howells & Noel Gardner
CLOTHING
$ Sub Pop cranberry tank (XS) ***
$ Washed Out cream tee (XS) ***
$ Sub Pop red w/ white logo (XS) ***
$ The Album Leaf grey tank (XS) ***
$ Arcade Fire light blue (S) ***
$ Bombay Bicycle Club white (S) ***
$$ Sub Pop hoodie (XS) ***
$ Draw Straws (SM)
$$ Sun Blinds (SM)
$$ Music Sounds Better With You T-shirt (XS, athletic grey)
$$ You Are What You Listen To T-shirt (XS, tri-coffee)
$$ Vinyl Love (XS, athletic grey)
$$ The Strokes T-shirt (One size, black)
$$ Tyler Knot scoop shirt (XS, grey)
$$ Reblog scoop shirt (XS, black)
$$ Better Days scoop shirt (XS, white)
$$ Petals tank (XS, white)
$$ Red Canvas TOMS (size 5)
$$$ Black on Black Canvas TOMS (size 5) ***
Dresses
$$ Colorful Confidence (S) ---> ON SALE
$$ Garden Retreat (S) ---> ON SALE$$$ New to the Office (S) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Bake Shop Browsing (XS) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Fete a Tete (S) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Commute Route (S) ---> ON SALE
$$ Record Time (XS)
$$ Peace of Mind (S)
$$$ Show Me the Honey (XS)
$$$ Work to Play (XS)
$$$ Namesake Cocktail (S)
$$$ Floral Field Day (XS)
$$$ Petal Picking (S)
$$$ What a Delight (S)
$$$ Two Truths and a Library (S)
$$$ Fond Voyage (XS)
$$$$ Literary Connoisseur (XS)
COFFEE MUGS
$ Ramona's Teas (favorite!)
$ Mermaid Princess (favorite)
$ Cheeky teacup
$ It's Tea Time
$ The Adventurer
$ Boss
$ Hang in There
$ Stay Curious
$ Pattern
$ Little & Fierce
$ Zelda Fitzgerald
$ Drink Coffee, Create Stuff & Sleep
$ What to Focus On
$ Treat Yo Self
$ Anything's Possible
$ The Grand Budapest Hotel
$ Super Duper
$ I Do What I Want
$ Wild Things
$ The Destination
$ Winter Stripe
FURNITURE
Office chair ***
$ Hanging chalkboard
$$ Weekly magnetic chalkboard
$$ Sort-It-Out chalkboard caddy
$$ Letter wall bin
$$ Painted woodblock wall shelf
$$ Dual-drawer chalkboard wall shelf
$$ Industrial hanging storage bin
$$$$ Plum & Bow arched wall shelf
GIFT CARDS
Anthropologie
Cartel Coffee
Forever21
iTunes
Liberty Market
Lux Coffee
Madewell
Revolver Records
Starbucks
Stinkweeds Records
Upward Projects
Urban Outfitters
Victoria's Secret ***
Zia Records
MISCELLANEOUS
$ Cassette tape necklace ***
$ Washed Out poster ***
$$ Iron & Wine poster pack ***
$ Mason Jar bank
$$ Rewind desk organizer
MUSIC
$ LSTN amplifier necklace ***
$ Rock Song tape birthday card
$$$ Vintage cassette player
$$$$ Vinyl record divider
$$$$ Crosley portable record player
Vinyl Records:
- Alabama Shakes Boys & Girls
- Alt-J An Awesome Wave
- Arcade Fire Funeral
- Arcade Fire Neon Bible
- Arcade Fire The Suburbs
- The Black Keys Brothers
- Bombay Bicycle Club A Different Kind of Fix
- Bombay Bicycle Club So Long, See you Tomorrow
- City & Colour Bring Me Your Love
- City & Colour Little Hell
- Death Cab for Cutie Plans
- Death Cab for Cutie Transatlanticism
- Dr. Dog Fate
- Fleet Foxes Fleet Foxes
- Fleet Foxes Helplessness Blues
- HAIM Days Are Gone
- Iron & Wine Kiss Each Other Clean
- Iron & Wine Our Endless Numbered Days
- Kimbra Vows
- Kings of Leon Mechanical Bull
- Local Natives Gorilla Manor
- Mutemath Mutemath
- The National Boxer
- The National Trouble Will Find Me
- Neutral Milk Hotel In An Aeroplane Over the Sea
- Paul McCartney RAM
- Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
- Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon
- Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here
- St. Vincent Strange Mercy
- Tame Impala Lonerism
- Two Door Cinema Club Tourist History
- Two Door Cinema Club Beacon
- Tycho Awake
- Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
- Vampire Weekend Contra
- Vampire Weekend Modern Vampires of the City
- Washed Out Within and Without
- Wild Nothing Nocturne
- Young the Giant Young the Giant
$ - Less than $20
$$ - $20 - $50
$$$ - $50-$100
$$$$ - More than $100
*** - NEW ITEM
MEMBERSHIPS
Vinyl Me Please
Yoga (location undetermined)
Both windshields on my car replaced
Eaux Claires presale tickets ***
BOOKS
$ "The Imaginary World of..." by Keri Smith ***
$ "The Little Book of Yoga" by Nora Isaacs ***
$ "Living in the Moment" by Anna Black ***
$ "Show Your Work" by Austin Kleon ***
$$ Scout books ***
$$ Scout DIY Calendar book ***
$$$ "360 Sound" by Sean Wilentz ***
$ "1 Page at a Time" by Adam J. Kurtz
$ "Be the Change" by Anneke Campbell & Thomas Linzey
$ "Chasers of the Light" by Tyler Knott Gregson
$ "Do Less" by Rachel Jonat
$ "Do: Disrupt" by Mark Shayler
$ "Do: Story" by Bobette Buster
$ "Eat Pretty" by Jolene Hart
$ "Girl Talk" by Christie Young
$ "How Music Works" by David Byrne
$ "How to Change the World" by John-Paul Flintoff
$ "How to Stay Sane" by Philippa Perry
$ "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric
$ "It Seems Impossible Until It's Done" by Kathryn & Ross Petras
$ Open book
$ Ticket Stub diary
$$ "Bon Iver" by Mark Beaumont
$$ "For the Record" by Many Ameri & Torsten Schmidt
$$ "Late Century Dream" by Tom Howells & Noel Gardner
CLOTHING
$ Sub Pop cranberry tank (XS) ***
$ Washed Out cream tee (XS) ***
$ Sub Pop red w/ white logo (XS) ***
$ The Album Leaf grey tank (XS) ***
$ Arcade Fire light blue (S) ***
$ Bombay Bicycle Club white (S) ***
$$ Sub Pop hoodie (XS) ***
$ Draw Straws (SM)
$$ Sun Blinds (SM)
$$ Music Sounds Better With You T-shirt (XS, athletic grey)
$$ You Are What You Listen To T-shirt (XS, tri-coffee)
$$ Vinyl Love (XS, athletic grey)
$$ The Strokes T-shirt (One size, black)
$$ Tyler Knot scoop shirt (XS, grey)
$$ Reblog scoop shirt (XS, black)
$$ Better Days scoop shirt (XS, white)
$$ Petals tank (XS, white)
$$ Red Canvas TOMS (size 5)
$$$ Black on Black Canvas TOMS (size 5) ***
Dresses
$$ Colorful Confidence (S) ---> ON SALE
$$ Garden Retreat (S) ---> ON SALE$$$ New to the Office (S) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Bake Shop Browsing (XS) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Fete a Tete (S) ---> ON SALE
$$$ Commute Route (S) ---> ON SALE
$$ Record Time (XS)
$$ Peace of Mind (S)
$$$ Show Me the Honey (XS)
$$$ Work to Play (XS)
$$$ Namesake Cocktail (S)
$$$ Floral Field Day (XS)
$$$ Petal Picking (S)
$$$ What a Delight (S)
$$$ Two Truths and a Library (S)
$$$ Fond Voyage (XS)
$$$$ Literary Connoisseur (XS)
COFFEE MUGS
$ Ramona's Teas (favorite!)
$ Mermaid Princess (favorite)
$ Cheeky teacup
$ It's Tea Time
$ The Adventurer
$ Boss
$ Hang in There
$ Stay Curious
$ Pattern
$ Little & Fierce
$ Zelda Fitzgerald
$ Drink Coffee, Create Stuff & Sleep
$ What to Focus On
$ Treat Yo Self
$ Anything's Possible
$ The Grand Budapest Hotel
$ Super Duper
$ I Do What I Want
$ Wild Things
$ The Destination
$ Winter Stripe
FURNITURE
Office chair ***
$ Hanging chalkboard
$$ Weekly magnetic chalkboard
$$ Sort-It-Out chalkboard caddy
$$ Letter wall bin
$$ Painted woodblock wall shelf
$$ Dual-drawer chalkboard wall shelf
$$ Industrial hanging storage bin
$$$$ Plum & Bow arched wall shelf
GIFT CARDS
Anthropologie
Cartel Coffee
Forever21
iTunes
Liberty Market
Lux Coffee
Madewell
Revolver Records
Starbucks
Stinkweeds Records
Upward Projects
Urban Outfitters
Victoria's Secret ***
Zia Records
MISCELLANEOUS
$ Cassette tape necklace ***
$ Washed Out poster ***
$$ Iron & Wine poster pack ***
$ Mason Jar bank
$$ Rewind desk organizer
MUSIC
$ LSTN amplifier necklace ***
$ Rock Song tape birthday card
$$$ Vintage cassette player
$$$$ Vinyl record divider
$$$$ Crosley portable record player
Vinyl Records:
- Alabama Shakes Boys & Girls
- Alt-J An Awesome Wave
- Arcade Fire Funeral
- Arcade Fire Neon Bible
- Arcade Fire The Suburbs
- The Black Keys Brothers
- Bombay Bicycle Club A Different Kind of Fix
- Bombay Bicycle Club So Long, See you Tomorrow
- City & Colour Bring Me Your Love
- City & Colour Little Hell
- Death Cab for Cutie Plans
- Death Cab for Cutie Transatlanticism
- Dr. Dog Fate
- Fleet Foxes Fleet Foxes
- Fleet Foxes Helplessness Blues
- HAIM Days Are Gone
- Iron & Wine Kiss Each Other Clean
- Iron & Wine Our Endless Numbered Days
- Kimbra Vows
- Kings of Leon Mechanical Bull
- Local Natives Gorilla Manor
- Mutemath Mutemath
- The National Boxer
- The National Trouble Will Find Me
- Neutral Milk Hotel In An Aeroplane Over the Sea
- Paul McCartney RAM
- Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
- Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon
- Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here
- St. Vincent Strange Mercy
- Tame Impala Lonerism
- Two Door Cinema Club Tourist History
- Two Door Cinema Club Beacon
- Tycho Awake
- Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
- Vampire Weekend Contra
- Vampire Weekend Modern Vampires of the City
- Washed Out Within and Without
- Wild Nothing Nocturne
- Young the Giant Young the Giant
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Who Am I?
Right now, I don't even know.
It has officially been a month since my life rapidly changed from doing okay to doing terrible. After a month of keeping secrets and shutting people out, it's time I let you guys know what's been happening.
It all started Monday, August 11th.
My car has been having a few maintenance problems, and on this particular morning, I walked out to my car to find that all of the oil had leaked onto the driveway. I asked my parents what I should do, and all had agreed it was not good to drive. So, my boyfriend drove me to work, my stepmom picked me up and took me back to my car where we met my dad. He filled it up with oil, took it to a garage, and my stepmom left me with her car for the next few days.
At this point, I thought my only stress was my car.
I wrestled with the decision to repair my car or retire my beloved Nissan Altima and purchase a new car. The damage was a broken time belt, which would require the entire car to be taken apart to fix, causing a price of around $2200. Before I could consider buying a new car, I had to run my credit report and see what my credit was like, as well as plan a budget. Since I had never gone through this process before, I asked my parents for help.
After running my credit report, they sat me down with worried looks on their faces.
Shit, they found out I paid rent late. I'm screwed, I'm so screwed, I thought.
Instead, it was something far worse.
My identity was stolen, against my own will, and used to take out loans with my information.
I've heard about it all the time through commercials about identity theft, but I never thought it would happen to me. And I hope it never happens to anyone.
It's incredibly hard to have to explain to debt collectors that it wasn't me who withdrew thousand of dollars towards a loan. Or that I have no idea how my name and social security number is attached to any of it.
The worst part about all this isn't the fact that my financial state is messed up. That will eventually get fixed.
It's not even the fact that my car is messed up. My grandfather generously paid to have my car repaired, and I'm making payments to him for his loan to fix my car until I can get a new one.
It's also not the fact that, on top of dealing with work and deadlines, I now also have to deal with debt collectors, lawyers, and filing a police report to fix this.
The worst part about this whole situation is that I know who did it.
This was a person who betrayed my trust, who lied to my face, and reassured me that one day everything will be okay while I was struggling to make ends meet.
Things will get better. My bad credit will be erased. My loans will get paid off. I will eventually get a new car. I will eventually be able to not be afraid to answer my phone.
But one thing that will be very difficult to get better is not a thing, but a feeling.
Security, trust, honesty. A relationship with a person I used to trust and still to this day love.
That relationship is now damaged. And it's going to take going to hell and back to fix this.
So, if I have been ignoring you, neglecting our friendship, or even been a bit difficult to be around the past few weeks, please know that it is absolutely NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with me. If you would please send prayers, good vibes, love, hugs, anything my way, I would so greatly appreciate it. But, just so everyone knows, while I am hurting, I am working on fixing my life:
- I am currently seeing a therapist to help with the mental and emotional strain this has caused me.
- I am moving back home with my parents to save some money, as well as surround myself with people who love and support me.
- I am staying busy with work and writing to keep my mind focused and off of the situation.
- I have filed a police report to continue the investigation process that I don't have the time or energy to complete.
- I will soon be meeting with a lawyer to figure out how I can protect myself, for the present situation and future security against identity theft.
If there's one thing I can tell people about this whole situation it's that do everything in your power to protect yourself. Keep a close eye on your finances and if something looks off, say something. Speak up. Don't hide. And not just financially, but in relationships, too.Protect yourself from those who will do you wrong.
I will not allow my strength to become a victim of theft.
So, if nothing goes right, go left.
It has officially been a month since my life rapidly changed from doing okay to doing terrible. After a month of keeping secrets and shutting people out, it's time I let you guys know what's been happening.
It all started Monday, August 11th.
My car has been having a few maintenance problems, and on this particular morning, I walked out to my car to find that all of the oil had leaked onto the driveway. I asked my parents what I should do, and all had agreed it was not good to drive. So, my boyfriend drove me to work, my stepmom picked me up and took me back to my car where we met my dad. He filled it up with oil, took it to a garage, and my stepmom left me with her car for the next few days.
At this point, I thought my only stress was my car.
I wrestled with the decision to repair my car or retire my beloved Nissan Altima and purchase a new car. The damage was a broken time belt, which would require the entire car to be taken apart to fix, causing a price of around $2200. Before I could consider buying a new car, I had to run my credit report and see what my credit was like, as well as plan a budget. Since I had never gone through this process before, I asked my parents for help.
After running my credit report, they sat me down with worried looks on their faces.
Shit, they found out I paid rent late. I'm screwed, I'm so screwed, I thought.
Instead, it was something far worse.
My identity was stolen, against my own will, and used to take out loans with my information.
I've heard about it all the time through commercials about identity theft, but I never thought it would happen to me. And I hope it never happens to anyone.
It's incredibly hard to have to explain to debt collectors that it wasn't me who withdrew thousand of dollars towards a loan. Or that I have no idea how my name and social security number is attached to any of it.
The worst part about all this isn't the fact that my financial state is messed up. That will eventually get fixed.
It's not even the fact that my car is messed up. My grandfather generously paid to have my car repaired, and I'm making payments to him for his loan to fix my car until I can get a new one.
It's also not the fact that, on top of dealing with work and deadlines, I now also have to deal with debt collectors, lawyers, and filing a police report to fix this.
The worst part about this whole situation is that I know who did it.
This was a person who betrayed my trust, who lied to my face, and reassured me that one day everything will be okay while I was struggling to make ends meet.
Things will get better. My bad credit will be erased. My loans will get paid off. I will eventually get a new car. I will eventually be able to not be afraid to answer my phone.
But one thing that will be very difficult to get better is not a thing, but a feeling.
Security, trust, honesty. A relationship with a person I used to trust and still to this day love.
That relationship is now damaged. And it's going to take going to hell and back to fix this.
So, if I have been ignoring you, neglecting our friendship, or even been a bit difficult to be around the past few weeks, please know that it is absolutely NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with me. If you would please send prayers, good vibes, love, hugs, anything my way, I would so greatly appreciate it. But, just so everyone knows, while I am hurting, I am working on fixing my life:
- I am currently seeing a therapist to help with the mental and emotional strain this has caused me.
- I am moving back home with my parents to save some money, as well as surround myself with people who love and support me.
- I am staying busy with work and writing to keep my mind focused and off of the situation.
- I have filed a police report to continue the investigation process that I don't have the time or energy to complete.
- I will soon be meeting with a lawyer to figure out how I can protect myself, for the present situation and future security against identity theft.
If there's one thing I can tell people about this whole situation it's that do everything in your power to protect yourself. Keep a close eye on your finances and if something looks off, say something. Speak up. Don't hide. And not just financially, but in relationships, too.Protect yourself from those who will do you wrong.
I will not allow my strength to become a victim of theft.
So, if nothing goes right, go left.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Mandi Goes to Seattle
Below is a journal of the adventures I encountered on my trip to Seattle. Enjoy!
I went to work like a normal day, and then afterwards picked up my luggage and headed to the airport. My grandfather was sweet enough to drive to Phoenix to bring me there and send me off. My 4:30pm flight was delayed to 5:50pm, so I spent the majority of my time at the airport sitting at La Grande Orange, blogging and charging my phone on my laptop since I didn't bring a wall charger.
I made a "newish" friend at the airport. About a year ago, Kelsey Dake from Phoenix did some artwork for Liberty Market during the renovation period. Joe Johnston, the owner and my boss, shared her Instagram handle to follow her artwork, so I followed her. It turns out, she posted a photo of her boarding pass to Seattle, which was the same flight I was on. So I mentioned on Instagram that I would be there as well, and she invited me to sit with her. We instantly clicked: we discussed our creative outlets, things we love about Phoenix, and she suggested some Seattle sights to me. On the plane, she shared some drink coupons with me.
After (finally!) landing in Seattle, I made my way to the lightrail and headed to the hotel. It was about 9:30pm when I got off the lightrail and had to find my hotel, so it was dark and frightening. I knew the general area of where to go, but I'm so used to the grid Phoenix layout, whereas Seattle is so scattered-brained with its directions. Plus, the sun was down, so how could I find east/west? Thankfully, a gentleman helped direct me of where to go. I found my hotel and checked in and found my room: IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! (Btw, BIG PROPS go out to my dad and his lady for helping me out with a hotel and paying for it when my original place to stay fell through...you guys literally saved me!) Since it was late and I was tired, I decided to hang out in the hotel for my first night and relax. Plus, I wanted to do some research of where some places were that I wanted to go. So, I called in a pizza, turned on the TV (it's been sooooo long since I watched TV) and relaxed.
I woke up in such a dilemma: I wanted to get up and go out and adventure and begin my vacation! BUT...I also wanted to rest and snuggle in the comfortable hotel bed. I finally decided to get outta bed and get ready for my day. I half-assed my shower, knowing that it was raining, and looking good was simply not an option.
I got lost on my way to breakfast, but I finally found Top Pot Doughnuts. I bought a doughnut, a coffee, and a Beatles lullaby album, made my way upstairs, and flipped through the pages of a local culture newspaper in search of what to do this weekend.
I went roaming around the city and found a girl performing on the streets. She was playing guitar and singing with a guitar case open, and she sang "Jolene" by Dolly Parton. I left her a dollar and my business card.
I had attempted to find Sonic Boom records, but instead found their old location which is now a clothing store. The cashier was very helpful and told me where I could find a nearby record store and suggested a show I check out this weekend.
On my way to the record store, I found Stumptown Coffee, a coffee shop I had been wanting to visit for so long! We roast Stumptown coffee at Liberty Market, so it was great to finally see the shop. After having a delicious almond milk hot chocolate, I headed to Everyday Music, and I was overwhelmed! Their selection was vast and their prices were unbeatable! I found seven albums for six dollars...yes please! I talked to Hans about the local scene and his radio show on KEXP. I decided to head back to the hotel to give my feet a rest and to charge my phone. I ended up getting lost (again), but it's not so bad. Getting lost in the city is exhilarating because I love finding new things and seeing all of the sights.
After resting my feet, I decided to check out the Hard Rock Café Seattle for dinner. There, I met Justin, a wandering traveler like myself. We exchanged travel stories: he was originally on a road trip with friends before it got bad and he had to leave. He booked a flight for home (West Virginia) for the next day, and was having one last evening of vacation to himself. It was nice to have a quick "friend" for an hour or two, before we parted ways. I walked around the Pike Place Market for a bit, but it was getting late and everything was closing, so I decided to save it for another day. I headed back to the hotel, where I listened to my new music and rested for the upcoming day ahead of me.
I woke Saturday with my legs throbbing, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from another day of adventuring. I headed to the original Starbucks to grab a coffee and get some Mixtape Mandi blogging done. It was so busy! I met a couple who had told me that they usually go to the market and go to Starbucks every weekend, and she mentioned that this spot was a tourist-favorite.
After a couple hours of blogging, I packed up my stuff and headed to the Pike Place Market. It was also very busy! I wandered around and saw many fish markets and a HUGE selection of large flower bouquets, all of which were very cheap! I wish I could have bought some, or had someone to give them to. I made my way into a collectibles store, which was filled with comic books and lunch boxes and memorabilia from movies, comics, and music. I found a Ringo Starr license and had to get it (side story: my coffee name is "Ringo Starr" so now I have the identification to prove it).
After hearing all the rumours, I wanted to check out the gum wall, an entire wall with old chewing gum stuck to it. I made my way down the stairs to Point Alley when there it was: The Gum Wall! So many people were posing and sticking their gum to the wall. I asked a couple of strangers to take my photo. It's hard traveling alone because I am not in any of the photos I take, but luckily someone took my photo. I used my old gum to stick my business card to the wall.
I headed back to the hotel to rest my poor legs and figure out my plan for the next day. It was hard to believe I only had one day left! What was I going to do? I ended up having dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery, which was a block away from my hotel. There, I met Richard the bartender, who talked music with me and even gave me a suggestion of something to check out: The Experience Music Project. I decided to use my Sunday as music day: experience the music (literally) and find Sub Pop Records, a lovable independent record label that has produced albums of some of my favorite artists, such as Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, Death Cab for Cutie, and Iron & Wine. I left the bar feeling full of food and full of sadness. I only had one day left in this beautiful city. I was not going to waste it!
Sunday, May 25
I woke up with a sad realization: today was my last day in Seattle! With no time to waste, I quickly got up, got ready, and packed my bag. I checked out of my hotel, and they were nice enough to hold my bag at the hotel for me while I roamed the city.
I headed out to find the Experience Music Project. When I arrived, the desk clerk could tell I couldn't contain my excitement. She told me all about all the exhibits I was about to see and recommended I try the audio guide, which was an iPod with tracks of music industry professionals and artists discussing the objects of the museum.
I first checked out the Nirvana exhibit, since Nirvana was such a huge musical standpoint that put Seattle on the music map. I quickly glanced through because I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, and then I headed to the Guitar Gallery. This part of the museum was a room filled with guitars spanning from the mid-1800's to today. There was a video of guitar legends, from bluegrass to rock n' roll to classic rock to jazz to blues to country. It was interesting to see the guitar used in so many genres.
After that, I went upstairs to see the Sound Lab, an interactive room that allows you to demo some of the gear and instruments used in today's audio recording studio. They had private studio rooms with instruments inside. In this exhibit, there was a huge wall with notes saying "MUSIC IS..." with answers from various people. My personal favorite simply said "MUSIC IS...YES." After the Sound Lab, I noticed a touch screen booth that asked about songs on different playlists. I clicked the screen and it asked me "What's your favorite song to dance to?" I typed in Washed Out's "It All Feels Right" and casted my vote!
The last exhibit I checked out was absolutely my favorite and spent the most time in: Spectacle, A Look at Music Videos. It explained the history of the idea of music videos and where it all began, and spanned all the way to the music videos of today. It discussed social messages in music videos, illustrations, concept videos, cinematography, animation, interactive videos (such as Arcade Fire) and some of the most creative ideas used in these videos. It was absolutely spectacular to see the history and evolution of the music video.
After the exhibit, I returned my audio guide and talked to the counter attendant, Dominic, about the Seattle music scene and his upcoming music project. I headed downstairs toward their café and enjoyed a pizza before deciding where my next destination would. I opened up my map app on my phone and typed in "Records" to find the nearest record store. Only about seven blocks away was a pop-up that read "SUB POP RECORDS"....are you kidding me?! Sub Pop is just down the street?! I packed up my things and headed toward the pop-up according to my phone and began the search for Sub Pop. What I found was a coffee shop called Uptown Espresso. I went inside and bought a hot chocolate and asked the barista if Sub Pop was close by. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I set up my laptop and did some research. Apparently, Sub Pop was on the same street just a few blocks down. So I headed that way and found the EXACT building Sub Pop is in, but you need a door code to get in. I decided that that was probably the best I could get, and headed back to the hotel to grab my bag and head to the airport.
I had heard recently that Sub Pop Records opened up a store in the Seattle airport where you can buy merchandise from the record label. I NEEDED TO FIND IT. When I got to the airport, I checked in, checked my bag, and got through security, and continued my search for Sub Pop. Luckily, all I had to do was turn the corner and there it was: the holy grail that is Sub Pop Records! I wanted to cry, but I didn't and went inside and looked around. They had T-shirts, coffee mugs, hoodies, notebooks, backpacks, stickers, magnets, stationary, and most importantly: music. You could buy albums (both CD and vinyl) in the store! I literally stood in the middle of the sales floor, staring at the wall of vinyl and happy-cried. After looking around, I picked up some stickers and a magnet from my refrigerator. I discussed music (obviously) with the cashiers, which one of them owns her own cassette label. We talked about the uprising of the music scene in Seattle, Portland (where the cassette label started), and my hometown of Phoenix.
The last part of my trip worth documenting was both comical and non-musical related. Fortunately, my flight home only had thirty-five people on board, so everyone flew comfortably. There was a single dad with his 14-month-old son on my flight, and the young boy instantly grabbed my heart. He would wave, high-five, fist-bump and smile from ear to ear. The father and I talked about going to Phoenix and talked about his son. We talked in line on the way to board, and when we arrived at the ticket counter, the lady asked me "Do you have a tag for the stroller?" I looked at the guy and the son and back at the ticketing lady and said "Oh no...that's his..." And the father jumped in and said "We're not together. We're flying separately." I was off the hook! It was so funny. Upon boarding the plane though, the little boy (who I assumed had just learned to walk) was a walking machine! The father was folding up the stroller with his bags on his shoulder and I noticed the little boy wanting to escape. I offered to hold the little boy's hand while the father got his stuff together so he wouldn't run off. Luckily, they trusted me enough to help him out. Honestly, I wasn't much of a fan of kids until about a year ago. Most of my old friends from high school now have kids, and with having a baby sister, I've learned the difficulties of parenting: you don't have a free hand or sleep or energy. I knew traveling alone for this man would be challenging, but he handled it like a champion, and so did his son.
Seattle was beautiful, and the vacation was definitely needed. I explored so much on my own and learned a lot on my trip:
1) Plan ahead.
2) Bring walking shoes.
3) Everything is expensive.
4) Don't walk on metal sewer drains when it's raining. You will slip. It will be embarrassing.
5) Being alone doesn't always mean you're lonely.
6) Saying "I have a music blog" is not news to anyone in Seattle.
7) There is great music playing EVERYWHERE.
8) Bring a phone charger wherever you go.
9) There is no use doing your hair, it's running, just throw it in a bun and call it good.
10) Don't be afraid to ask for help. People are willing to help if you just ask.
Thursday, May 22
I went to work like a normal day, and then afterwards picked up my luggage and headed to the airport. My grandfather was sweet enough to drive to Phoenix to bring me there and send me off. My 4:30pm flight was delayed to 5:50pm, so I spent the majority of my time at the airport sitting at La Grande Orange, blogging and charging my phone on my laptop since I didn't bring a wall charger.I made a "newish" friend at the airport. About a year ago, Kelsey Dake from Phoenix did some artwork for Liberty Market during the renovation period. Joe Johnston, the owner and my boss, shared her Instagram handle to follow her artwork, so I followed her. It turns out, she posted a photo of her boarding pass to Seattle, which was the same flight I was on. So I mentioned on Instagram that I would be there as well, and she invited me to sit with her. We instantly clicked: we discussed our creative outlets, things we love about Phoenix, and she suggested some Seattle sights to me. On the plane, she shared some drink coupons with me.After (finally!) landing in Seattle, I made my way to the lightrail and headed to the hotel. It was about 9:30pm when I got off the lightrail and had to find my hotel, so it was dark and frightening. I knew the general area of where to go, but I'm so used to the grid Phoenix layout, whereas Seattle is so scattered-brained with its directions. Plus, the sun was down, so how could I find east/west? Thankfully, a gentleman helped direct me of where to go. I found my hotel and checked in and found my room: IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! (Btw, BIG PROPS go out to my dad and his lady for helping me out with a hotel and paying for it when my original place to stay fell through...you guys literally saved me!) Since it was late and I was tired, I decided to hang out in the hotel for my first night and relax. Plus, I wanted to do some research of where some places were that I wanted to go. So, I called in a pizza, turned on the TV (it's been sooooo long since I watched TV) and relaxed.
Friday, May 23
I woke up in such a dilemma: I wanted to get up and go out and adventure and begin my vacation! BUT...I also wanted to rest and snuggle in the comfortable hotel bed. I finally decided to get outta bed and get ready for my day. I half-assed my shower, knowing that it was raining, and looking good was simply not an option.I went roaming around the city and found a girl performing on the streets. She was playing guitar and singing with a guitar case open, and she sang "Jolene" by Dolly Parton. I left her a dollar and my business card.I had attempted to find Sonic Boom records, but instead found their old location which is now a clothing store. The cashier was very helpful and told me where I could find a nearby record store and suggested a show I check out this weekend.
On my way to the record store, I found Stumptown Coffee, a coffee shop I had been wanting to visit for so long! We roast Stumptown coffee at Liberty Market, so it was great to finally see the shop. After having a delicious almond milk hot chocolate, I headed to Everyday Music, and I was overwhelmed! Their selection was vast and their prices were unbeatable! I found seven albums for six dollars...yes please! I talked to Hans about the local scene and his radio show on KEXP. I decided to head back to the hotel to give my feet a rest and to charge my phone. I ended up getting lost (again), but it's not so bad. Getting lost in the city is exhilarating because I love finding new things and seeing all of the sights.After resting my feet, I decided to check out the Hard Rock Café Seattle for dinner. There, I met Justin, a wandering traveler like myself. We exchanged travel stories: he was originally on a road trip with friends before it got bad and he had to leave. He booked a flight for home (West Virginia) for the next day, and was having one last evening of vacation to himself. It was nice to have a quick "friend" for an hour or two, before we parted ways. I walked around the Pike Place Market for a bit, but it was getting late and everything was closing, so I decided to save it for another day. I headed back to the hotel, where I listened to my new music and rested for the upcoming day ahead of me.
Saturday, May 24
I woke Saturday with my legs throbbing, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from another day of adventuring. I headed to the original Starbucks to grab a coffee and get some Mixtape Mandi blogging done. It was so busy! I met a couple who had told me that they usually go to the market and go to Starbucks every weekend, and she mentioned that this spot was a tourist-favorite. After a couple hours of blogging, I packed up my stuff and headed to the Pike Place Market. It was also very busy! I wandered around and saw many fish markets and a HUGE selection of large flower bouquets, all of which were very cheap! I wish I could have bought some, or had someone to give them to. I made my way into a collectibles store, which was filled with comic books and lunch boxes and memorabilia from movies, comics, and music. I found a Ringo Starr license and had to get it (side story: my coffee name is "Ringo Starr" so now I have the identification to prove it). After hearing all the rumours, I wanted to check out the gum wall, an entire wall with old chewing gum stuck to it. I made my way down the stairs to Point Alley when there it was: The Gum Wall! So many people were posing and sticking their gum to the wall. I asked a couple of strangers to take my photo. It's hard traveling alone because I am not in any of the photos I take, but luckily someone took my photo. I used my old gum to stick my business card to the wall.I headed back to the hotel to rest my poor legs and figure out my plan for the next day. It was hard to believe I only had one day left! What was I going to do? I ended up having dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery, which was a block away from my hotel. There, I met Richard the bartender, who talked music with me and even gave me a suggestion of something to check out: The Experience Music Project. I decided to use my Sunday as music day: experience the music (literally) and find Sub Pop Records, a lovable independent record label that has produced albums of some of my favorite artists, such as Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, Death Cab for Cutie, and Iron & Wine. I left the bar feeling full of food and full of sadness. I only had one day left in this beautiful city. I was not going to waste it!
Sunday, May 25I headed out to find the Experience Music Project. When I arrived, the desk clerk could tell I couldn't contain my excitement. She told me all about all the exhibits I was about to see and recommended I try the audio guide, which was an iPod with tracks of music industry professionals and artists discussing the objects of the museum.I first checked out the Nirvana exhibit, since Nirvana was such a huge musical standpoint that put Seattle on the music map. I quickly glanced through because I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, and then I headed to the Guitar Gallery. This part of the museum was a room filled with guitars spanning from the mid-1800's to today. There was a video of guitar legends, from bluegrass to rock n' roll to classic rock to jazz to blues to country. It was interesting to see the guitar used in so many genres.
After that, I went upstairs to see the Sound Lab, an interactive room that allows you to demo some of the gear and instruments used in today's audio recording studio. They had private studio rooms with instruments inside. In this exhibit, there was a huge wall with notes saying "MUSIC IS..." with answers from various people. My personal favorite simply said "MUSIC IS...YES." After the Sound Lab, I noticed a touch screen booth that asked about songs on different playlists. I clicked the screen and it asked me "What's your favorite song to dance to?" I typed in Washed Out's "It All Feels Right" and casted my vote!The last exhibit I checked out was absolutely my favorite and spent the most time in: Spectacle, A Look at Music Videos. It explained the history of the idea of music videos and where it all began, and spanned all the way to the music videos of today. It discussed social messages in music videos, illustrations, concept videos, cinematography, animation, interactive videos (such as Arcade Fire) and some of the most creative ideas used in these videos. It was absolutely spectacular to see the history and evolution of the music video.
After the exhibit, I returned my audio guide and talked to the counter attendant, Dominic, about the Seattle music scene and his upcoming music project. I headed downstairs toward their café and enjoyed a pizza before deciding where my next destination would. I opened up my map app on my phone and typed in "Records" to find the nearest record store. Only about seven blocks away was a pop-up that read "SUB POP RECORDS"....are you kidding me?! Sub Pop is just down the street?! I packed up my things and headed toward the pop-up according to my phone and began the search for Sub Pop. What I found was a coffee shop called Uptown Espresso. I went inside and bought a hot chocolate and asked the barista if Sub Pop was close by. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I set up my laptop and did some research. Apparently, Sub Pop was on the same street just a few blocks down. So I headed that way and found the EXACT building Sub Pop is in, but you need a door code to get in. I decided that that was probably the best I could get, and headed back to the hotel to grab my bag and head to the airport.I had heard recently that Sub Pop Records opened up a store in the Seattle airport where you can buy merchandise from the record label. I NEEDED TO FIND IT. When I got to the airport, I checked in, checked my bag, and got through security, and continued my search for Sub Pop. Luckily, all I had to do was turn the corner and there it was: the holy grail that is Sub Pop Records! I wanted to cry, but I didn't and went inside and looked around. They had T-shirts, coffee mugs, hoodies, notebooks, backpacks, stickers, magnets, stationary, and most importantly: music. You could buy albums (both CD and vinyl) in the store! I literally stood in the middle of the sales floor, staring at the wall of vinyl and happy-cried. After looking around, I picked up some stickers and a magnet from my refrigerator. I discussed music (obviously) with the cashiers, which one of them owns her own cassette label. We talked about the uprising of the music scene in Seattle, Portland (where the cassette label started), and my hometown of Phoenix. The last part of my trip worth documenting was both comical and non-musical related. Fortunately, my flight home only had thirty-five people on board, so everyone flew comfortably. There was a single dad with his 14-month-old son on my flight, and the young boy instantly grabbed my heart. He would wave, high-five, fist-bump and smile from ear to ear. The father and I talked about going to Phoenix and talked about his son. We talked in line on the way to board, and when we arrived at the ticket counter, the lady asked me "Do you have a tag for the stroller?" I looked at the guy and the son and back at the ticketing lady and said "Oh no...that's his..." And the father jumped in and said "We're not together. We're flying separately." I was off the hook! It was so funny. Upon boarding the plane though, the little boy (who I assumed had just learned to walk) was a walking machine! The father was folding up the stroller with his bags on his shoulder and I noticed the little boy wanting to escape. I offered to hold the little boy's hand while the father got his stuff together so he wouldn't run off. Luckily, they trusted me enough to help him out. Honestly, I wasn't much of a fan of kids until about a year ago. Most of my old friends from high school now have kids, and with having a baby sister, I've learned the difficulties of parenting: you don't have a free hand or sleep or energy. I knew traveling alone for this man would be challenging, but he handled it like a champion, and so did his son.Seattle was beautiful, and the vacation was definitely needed. I explored so much on my own and learned a lot on my trip:
1) Plan ahead.
2) Bring walking shoes.
3) Everything is expensive.
4) Don't walk on metal sewer drains when it's raining. You will slip. It will be embarrassing.
5) Being alone doesn't always mean you're lonely.
6) Saying "I have a music blog" is not news to anyone in Seattle.
7) There is great music playing EVERYWHERE.
8) Bring a phone charger wherever you go.
9) There is no use doing your hair, it's running, just throw it in a bun and call it good.
10) Don't be afraid to ask for help. People are willing to help if you just ask.
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